Kailash: - Kaa Kaa Kaaa, hello “Shaili”, I am here at this tree. Can you see me?
Shaili: - Oh! You are there, the naughty crow. Please come down, we want to have a chat with you.
Kailash: - wow!, it’s my pleasure. So, you are conducting the program “NDTV Animal Interview” right?
Shaili: - Yes, you are right. So, do you like the city of Kolkata?
Kailash: - Of Course, why not, after all it is the “City Of Joy”.
Shaili: - Oh! I see.
Kailash: - Ya, I know, what you are trying to say, you are saying about the garbage in the streets and the pollution right?
Shaili: - Yes, despite having a strong municipal corporation, why the city is not so clean, in respect to other cities.
Kailash: - That is why, we are there naah… We work as a natural sweeper here, eating away all the garbage. You will be glad to know, that Kolkata is the city, where you will find the largest population of crows. Kaa Kaa Kaaa… every morning, we start shouting to let people know, that it is morning now.
Shaili: - You are skipping my question. Why there is no response from the municipal corporation?
Kailash: - First of all, the Mayor is always the laziest person, no matter whether he/she is from CPI-M or Trinamool Congress. All are the cows of the same Gosala only. They will not pay enough salary to the workers; neither will they order them to clean all the roads and garbage at least once a week. It has sometimes happened that public has to request to the municipal corporation to send people for cleaning up the garbage in their locality.
Shaili: - Really, is it the scenario?
Kailash: - Yes, of course, despite paying the taxes, if you get this type of humiliation, then it is a shameful thing. At least, we try our level best to clear he garbage. The CM should be grateful to us, in this regard. At least, in south Indian cities, Municipal Corporation works more efficiently than this Kolkata.
Shaili: - Is that the message, you wanted to share only, or you have anything more.
Kailash: - Dear viewers, if you have never seen a crow, in your life time, then just visit our Kolkata, we are there to entertain you.
Shaili: - You people shits too much.
Kailash: - Baah! , we will eat so much garbage, and then we cannot give it out, my goodness. Let the Municipal Corporation cleans up our shits. At least, give them some work to do. Ha ha ha…
Shaili: - Ok, nice talking to you, we will end our program.
Kailash: - Ok, Shaili, Thanks for coming to Kolkata… Kabhi Alvida Na Kahena… phir Kolkata aate rahana… Namaskaar…
Shaili: - Ok, viewers, we are signing off. Take Care, Bye.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
INDIAN ENGLISH
“You people are good for nothing, your parents are spending so much money on you people in a reputed English medium school of Kolkata, i.e. Julien Day School, but still you people have failed in English Grammar. Chee chee cheee… at class VI, you don’t know the difference between active and passive sentence... Shame on you people. How many times, I have to tell you people to learn Wren & Martin.” shouted “Mrs. Bhowmick”, the best English teacher of the school, to us, as we have failed in English Grammar at the Half Yearly Exam.
“Atreyee” got only 26 out of 100 in English Grammar Examination. She was so bombarded by her English teacher and parents that, she got frustrated. “Arindam” understood everything and told her, “Don’t worry, at least you know better English than our PT teacher “Parimal”.”
One day, “Parimal” came with a packet of sweets, and went straight into the Principal’s house and told her, “Madam, today is the happiest day of my life. In the 2nd attempt, my one and only daughter have passed away. So, for this happy moment, take this sweet”. The principal “Mrs. Broughton” was just stunned to hear this and came out of the room and told the Bengali teacher “Mr. Naskar”, that “Parimal” has gone mad. The PT teacher is celebrating the death of his daughter. “Naskar” asked “Parimal” in Bengali and got the answer and confirmed the Principal that “Parimal’s” daughter has passed the “Madhyamik Secondary Exam” in her 2nd attempt.
In another instant, oh my god, one day our Geography teacher “Mr. Elizabeth Chackoo” was absent. So, in her absence, “Parimal” came to take the class, so that we don’t shout like hooligans. As it was a hot season of Kolkata, so we were feeling very hot. Seeing the situation, “Parimal” ordered us, “Please open the window panes, and let the atmosphere come in”. Someone asked, “Which layer of atmosphere will come in, Sir?”
But, we will never forget the “Inter-Branch Football” scam in our Kolkata branch. Actually, in our “Juilen Day School”, there were three branches: - Kalyani, Ganganagar and Kolkata. Out of these three, Ganganagar boys were the best in football. We entered into the final, and went to play in Ganganagar by bus. But, our school was like a college full of hooligans, including me. But, I was not fond of all those Ghutkas or “Gopal” zardas.The bus was going towards “Ganganagar” and some of our football players spitted on a local cyclist, going through that road. Then, the local people stopped the bus, and the football match was cancelled, as we were not allowed to enter the field, by the local people of Ganganagar. “Ganganagar” won the football final match, without even touching the football. What a shame it was for us.
All the students who were in the “Kolkata” football team were suspended for 1 week. But, “Mrs. Broughton” wanted to know in details what actually happened there in Ganganagar. She requested “Parimal” to come on the stage and explain it. “Parimal” started explaining the entire scenario.
Parimal: - Actually, the problem is, the cycle going, the bus going, the bus going, the cycle going, in parallel mode on the road. The school boys spit, the cyclist got red color on the shirt. The man got angry and stopped the bus and came and beat the boys. They boys also revenged, pounced on man. The locals angry, cancelled the match. This is the whole story.
The Principal started laughing and told all of them to go to hell with their bloody English.Mrs. Bhowmick was standing there at the auditorium watching our “tamasha”. I told her, “Madam, this is known as “Indian English”, he he he, if “Parimal” would have been our English teacher, then we have all got at least 90 out of 100.The madam laughed heartily and told, “Really, after hearing this “Indian English”,I am tending to forget the rules of Wren & Martin”.
“Atreyee” got only 26 out of 100 in English Grammar Examination. She was so bombarded by her English teacher and parents that, she got frustrated. “Arindam” understood everything and told her, “Don’t worry, at least you know better English than our PT teacher “Parimal”.”
One day, “Parimal” came with a packet of sweets, and went straight into the Principal’s house and told her, “Madam, today is the happiest day of my life. In the 2nd attempt, my one and only daughter have passed away. So, for this happy moment, take this sweet”. The principal “Mrs. Broughton” was just stunned to hear this and came out of the room and told the Bengali teacher “Mr. Naskar”, that “Parimal” has gone mad. The PT teacher is celebrating the death of his daughter. “Naskar” asked “Parimal” in Bengali and got the answer and confirmed the Principal that “Parimal’s” daughter has passed the “Madhyamik Secondary Exam” in her 2nd attempt.
In another instant, oh my god, one day our Geography teacher “Mr. Elizabeth Chackoo” was absent. So, in her absence, “Parimal” came to take the class, so that we don’t shout like hooligans. As it was a hot season of Kolkata, so we were feeling very hot. Seeing the situation, “Parimal” ordered us, “Please open the window panes, and let the atmosphere come in”. Someone asked, “Which layer of atmosphere will come in, Sir?”
But, we will never forget the “Inter-Branch Football” scam in our Kolkata branch. Actually, in our “Juilen Day School”, there were three branches: - Kalyani, Ganganagar and Kolkata. Out of these three, Ganganagar boys were the best in football. We entered into the final, and went to play in Ganganagar by bus. But, our school was like a college full of hooligans, including me. But, I was not fond of all those Ghutkas or “Gopal” zardas.The bus was going towards “Ganganagar” and some of our football players spitted on a local cyclist, going through that road. Then, the local people stopped the bus, and the football match was cancelled, as we were not allowed to enter the field, by the local people of Ganganagar. “Ganganagar” won the football final match, without even touching the football. What a shame it was for us.
All the students who were in the “Kolkata” football team were suspended for 1 week. But, “Mrs. Broughton” wanted to know in details what actually happened there in Ganganagar. She requested “Parimal” to come on the stage and explain it. “Parimal” started explaining the entire scenario.
Parimal: - Actually, the problem is, the cycle going, the bus going, the bus going, the cycle going, in parallel mode on the road. The school boys spit, the cyclist got red color on the shirt. The man got angry and stopped the bus and came and beat the boys. They boys also revenged, pounced on man. The locals angry, cancelled the match. This is the whole story.
The Principal started laughing and told all of them to go to hell with their bloody English.Mrs. Bhowmick was standing there at the auditorium watching our “tamasha”. I told her, “Madam, this is known as “Indian English”, he he he, if “Parimal” would have been our English teacher, then we have all got at least 90 out of 100.The madam laughed heartily and told, “Really, after hearing this “Indian English”,I am tending to forget the rules of Wren & Martin”.
CRIMINAL CROCODILE
Chandan: - Uff ho, “Shaili Chopra”, why have you come here to take my interview?
Shaili: - Wow!, how do you know me?
Chandan: - How can we ignore the anchor of the program “NDTV Animal Interview”, and as I am the “Criminal Crocodile”of Uttar Pradesh.
Shaili: - Wait a minute, why do you term yourself as a criminal?
Chandan: - See, in my childhood days, I was at the rivers of “Sundarban” delta, but there I never used to kill human beings. Yes, once I severely injured a Royal Bengal Tiger, when it came to drink water in the river. He he he, that was an awesome fight, I still remember that day.
Shaili: - But how did you came here in Uttar Pradesh?
Chandan: - The Alipore Zoo officials of Kolkata caught me and kept me there at the zoo.
Shaili: - Hmm, so, you were so naughty in the Sundarbans, that forest department transferred you to the animal jail, which is known as “Alipore Zoo”. Ha ha ha …
Chandan: - But, I was very happy in that zoo. No work, no tension, only eat and sleep, and I just enjoyed those little children shouting, “O maa, dekho dekho, ki baro kumir, babah… ota ki bechey achey na morey gachey”.
Shaili:- So, after that, “Surya Pratap”, the minister of Uttar Pradesh, kept you here in this talab (i.e. the pond). But, why you said that, you are a criminal?
Chandan: - Because, enemies of “Surya Pratap” is killed by me only. They will keep me hungry, the whole day, without providing me any food. Then, they will throw the person, in this talab, to be killed by me.
Shaili: - So, why did you kill them? You could have ignored them.
Chandan: - If I don’t eat that person, I will die, because “Surya Pratap’s” men will not provide me any other food. And as a second option, if I do not eat that person also, despite being hungry, then “Surya Pratap” will kill me with his rifle. Last week, only, he killed my friend “Luma”, another crocodile of this talab.
Shaili: - Oh! My God, Surya Pratap is such a dangerous person. He has really made you a “Criminal Crocodile”.
Chandan: - I have no other options. I have to do my duty for my master. Anyway, please don’t publish these things in the media; otherwise, “Surya Pratap” will be in trouble, and Uttar Pradesh CM will kill him, as the election is coming, and a small scandal can help the opposition party to come to power in the election of 2009.
Shaili: - Ok, babah, you please take care of yourself, let me get out of this territory. It is a very dangerous area. Nice to meet you “Chandan”, Good Bye.
Chandan: - Good Bye Shaili!, Take Care and Thanks for coming here and interviewing me. Thanks to NDTV also.
Shaili: - Thanks Chandan. You may be a criminal, but you also have a good heart too.
Chandan: - Maybe, I was a human being in my previous birth, that is why, I become emotional sometimes.
Shaili: - Maybe, that I don’t know. Well viewers, here we are ending our show. Bye bye.
Shaili: - Wow!, how do you know me?
Chandan: - How can we ignore the anchor of the program “NDTV Animal Interview”, and as I am the “Criminal Crocodile”of Uttar Pradesh.
Shaili: - Wait a minute, why do you term yourself as a criminal?
Chandan: - See, in my childhood days, I was at the rivers of “Sundarban” delta, but there I never used to kill human beings. Yes, once I severely injured a Royal Bengal Tiger, when it came to drink water in the river. He he he, that was an awesome fight, I still remember that day.
Shaili: - But how did you came here in Uttar Pradesh?
Chandan: - The Alipore Zoo officials of Kolkata caught me and kept me there at the zoo.
Shaili: - Hmm, so, you were so naughty in the Sundarbans, that forest department transferred you to the animal jail, which is known as “Alipore Zoo”. Ha ha ha …
Chandan: - But, I was very happy in that zoo. No work, no tension, only eat and sleep, and I just enjoyed those little children shouting, “O maa, dekho dekho, ki baro kumir, babah… ota ki bechey achey na morey gachey”.
Shaili:- So, after that, “Surya Pratap”, the minister of Uttar Pradesh, kept you here in this talab (i.e. the pond). But, why you said that, you are a criminal?
Chandan: - Because, enemies of “Surya Pratap” is killed by me only. They will keep me hungry, the whole day, without providing me any food. Then, they will throw the person, in this talab, to be killed by me.
Shaili: - So, why did you kill them? You could have ignored them.
Chandan: - If I don’t eat that person, I will die, because “Surya Pratap’s” men will not provide me any other food. And as a second option, if I do not eat that person also, despite being hungry, then “Surya Pratap” will kill me with his rifle. Last week, only, he killed my friend “Luma”, another crocodile of this talab.
Shaili: - Oh! My God, Surya Pratap is such a dangerous person. He has really made you a “Criminal Crocodile”.
Chandan: - I have no other options. I have to do my duty for my master. Anyway, please don’t publish these things in the media; otherwise, “Surya Pratap” will be in trouble, and Uttar Pradesh CM will kill him, as the election is coming, and a small scandal can help the opposition party to come to power in the election of 2009.
Shaili: - Ok, babah, you please take care of yourself, let me get out of this territory. It is a very dangerous area. Nice to meet you “Chandan”, Good Bye.
Chandan: - Good Bye Shaili!, Take Care and Thanks for coming here and interviewing me. Thanks to NDTV also.
Shaili: - Thanks Chandan. You may be a criminal, but you also have a good heart too.
Chandan: - Maybe, I was a human being in my previous birth, that is why, I become emotional sometimes.
Shaili: - Maybe, that I don’t know. Well viewers, here we are ending our show. Bye bye.
ARINDAM BECAME CM OF BENGAL IN HIS DREAM
Tanvir: - Hello viewers. I am Tanvir Gill of ET NOW and today in this special ‘ET Interview’ program, we have with us, the newly elected CM of West Bengal, Mr. Arindam. Sir, congrats to you for becoming the CM of West Bengal. Last year, you came out of the BJP and then formed your own political party ‘Royal Bengal Tigers Party’ (RBTP). So, what is your future development plan or strategies for this state?
Arindam: - Thanks to you Tanvir, for inviting me in your show. But, don’t call me Sir. You can call me Arindam only. Now, coming back to your question, well, there are lots of things to be done. First of all, we want to tighten our security in the Bangladesh border areas. We want to stop the infiltration of Bangladeshis through the Bongaon, Sundarban, Malda, Murshidabad and Silguri. Police forces will be re-structured. All policemen need to pass a special fitness test for two times, every year. If any policeman fails to pass the fitness test for consecutive three times, his or her job will be terminated. We are going to introduce new arms and ammunitions for the Police force. Special Intelligence Squad will also be formed. NCC Training will be made a compulsory course for all school students. We will also have a detailed discussion with the Naxalites to solve their problems. We are planning to create a domestic market for handicrafts, jute products and forest medicinal herbs. All plastics will be banned. Instead of that, thin polybags made of jute will be used.
Tanvir: - Ok, but, what about the Industrial Development?
Arindam: - Oh! There are many barren lands in the Rajarhat region, where no agriculture takes place. There we will create an IT park, where companies like Infosys, Wipro, Accenture, Covansys, Deloitte, Microsoft and Oracle will be allotted the plots. Not only have that, we will re-open all the factories of manufacturing sectors of Howrah-Hoogly belt as well as of Garden Reach – Khidderpore area. The ‘CITU’ will be banned. We don’t want any existence of unions in any factories. That has ruined the profitability of manufacturing factories for last 30 years. Employees for all the factories will be recruited without any partiality. From now on, there will be no caste system or minority quota for employment purpose. All will be treated in an equal manner and will be given the equal opportunity. L& T will be given a notice to complete the Hydel Power project of Teesta River within 1 year. That hydel power project is more than enough to supply electricity to the entire northern Bengal. Not only have that, we are going to modernize the Haldia port, with some artificial machineries and the silting problem will be solved. In Bakkhali, Frazergunj and Shankarpur, there will be new Shipping ports. Near Durgapur, we are planning to have a new airport. New fisheries and wind power station will be opened up in Sagar Dweep. Solar Energy projects will come up in the districts of Purulia, Bankura and Birbhum, where the climate is too hot.
Tanvir: - What about the transport system as well as the Tourism Department? Also, are there any special initiatives for the Health Department and Education System?
Arindam: - Hmm, for education system, we will follow the Central Board only. There will be no separate West Bengal Board for that. English will be taught from class 1 only. From class V, third language like Hindi will be taught. In class VIII, a student can learn a foreign language, either French or German. But, that will be optional. Number of colleges will be increased. For Health Department, we are going for a Public-Private Partnership, to improve the overall infrastructure of hospitals as well as to recruit doctors with good pay scales. Regarding Transport system, we have already banned old vehicles. All the government buses and vehicles of Silpara Garage have been repaired and modernized. All those buses will be implemented on the roads very soon. For tourism, Darjeeling, Digha, Jaldapara and Sundarban will become one of best tourist spots of India.
***********************
Dibakar: - Ei, Sain; wake up. Already it is 6.30 AM now. Your clock alarm rang for 5 times, but still you are sleeping. Have you forgotten that, today is your SBI Exam. Be ready soon, otherwise, you will be late.
Arindam: - Oh! I am sorry. Actually, I was having a very interesting dream. In my dream, I was working as a CM of Bengal like Anil Kapoor did for Maharashtra state in the film ‘NAYAK’.
Sandipan: - Ha ha ha…hey, listen everybody. It’s breaking news. “ARINDAM BECAME CM OF BENGAL IN HIS DREAM”, he he he…, it was a real funny dream for you. Anyway, Best of Luck for the SBI Exam.
Arindam: - Thanks to you Tanvir, for inviting me in your show. But, don’t call me Sir. You can call me Arindam only. Now, coming back to your question, well, there are lots of things to be done. First of all, we want to tighten our security in the Bangladesh border areas. We want to stop the infiltration of Bangladeshis through the Bongaon, Sundarban, Malda, Murshidabad and Silguri. Police forces will be re-structured. All policemen need to pass a special fitness test for two times, every year. If any policeman fails to pass the fitness test for consecutive three times, his or her job will be terminated. We are going to introduce new arms and ammunitions for the Police force. Special Intelligence Squad will also be formed. NCC Training will be made a compulsory course for all school students. We will also have a detailed discussion with the Naxalites to solve their problems. We are planning to create a domestic market for handicrafts, jute products and forest medicinal herbs. All plastics will be banned. Instead of that, thin polybags made of jute will be used.
Tanvir: - Ok, but, what about the Industrial Development?
Arindam: - Oh! There are many barren lands in the Rajarhat region, where no agriculture takes place. There we will create an IT park, where companies like Infosys, Wipro, Accenture, Covansys, Deloitte, Microsoft and Oracle will be allotted the plots. Not only have that, we will re-open all the factories of manufacturing sectors of Howrah-Hoogly belt as well as of Garden Reach – Khidderpore area. The ‘CITU’ will be banned. We don’t want any existence of unions in any factories. That has ruined the profitability of manufacturing factories for last 30 years. Employees for all the factories will be recruited without any partiality. From now on, there will be no caste system or minority quota for employment purpose. All will be treated in an equal manner and will be given the equal opportunity. L& T will be given a notice to complete the Hydel Power project of Teesta River within 1 year. That hydel power project is more than enough to supply electricity to the entire northern Bengal. Not only have that, we are going to modernize the Haldia port, with some artificial machineries and the silting problem will be solved. In Bakkhali, Frazergunj and Shankarpur, there will be new Shipping ports. Near Durgapur, we are planning to have a new airport. New fisheries and wind power station will be opened up in Sagar Dweep. Solar Energy projects will come up in the districts of Purulia, Bankura and Birbhum, where the climate is too hot.
Tanvir: - What about the transport system as well as the Tourism Department? Also, are there any special initiatives for the Health Department and Education System?
Arindam: - Hmm, for education system, we will follow the Central Board only. There will be no separate West Bengal Board for that. English will be taught from class 1 only. From class V, third language like Hindi will be taught. In class VIII, a student can learn a foreign language, either French or German. But, that will be optional. Number of colleges will be increased. For Health Department, we are going for a Public-Private Partnership, to improve the overall infrastructure of hospitals as well as to recruit doctors with good pay scales. Regarding Transport system, we have already banned old vehicles. All the government buses and vehicles of Silpara Garage have been repaired and modernized. All those buses will be implemented on the roads very soon. For tourism, Darjeeling, Digha, Jaldapara and Sundarban will become one of best tourist spots of India.
***********************
Dibakar: - Ei, Sain; wake up. Already it is 6.30 AM now. Your clock alarm rang for 5 times, but still you are sleeping. Have you forgotten that, today is your SBI Exam. Be ready soon, otherwise, you will be late.
Arindam: - Oh! I am sorry. Actually, I was having a very interesting dream. In my dream, I was working as a CM of Bengal like Anil Kapoor did for Maharashtra state in the film ‘NAYAK’.
Sandipan: - Ha ha ha…hey, listen everybody. It’s breaking news. “ARINDAM BECAME CM OF BENGAL IN HIS DREAM”, he he he…, it was a real funny dream for you. Anyway, Best of Luck for the SBI Exam.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
BARMUDA TRIANGLE
Harsha: - Hello Viewers, I am “Harsha Bhogle”, starting the program “World Prime Time”. Today, we have the famous “Yamraaj”. Hello Sir, we want to know about the “Barmuda Triangle”, that you have created.
Yamraaj: - Wow!, that was my dream project, to create a deadly triangle like that.
Harsha: - Sorry, I can’t get you, Sir.
Yamraaj: - Ok, let me call Lord “Brahma” on his mobile. Hello “Brahmaji”, today, “Harsha” is here to know about my dream project “Barmuda Triangle”. Should I disclose all the details?
Brahma: - Uff, this Harsha always have questions. Ok, tell him, only the overview or synopsis of the project report that you have submitted to us.
Yamraaj: - Ok, Brahmaji, thanks a lot.
Harsha: - Who assigned you this project and why?
Yamraaj: - See, actually there was a need to create this kind of deadly zone at the center of the earth, otherwise these Americans and Europeans would have reached the centre of the earth, and have destructed that also. Remember one thing; if there is any minute change in the centre of the earth, then the tectonic plates will be in great dilemma. Then, the entire world will look like an Earthquake zone.
Harsha: - but Sir, till now, no one has found out the center of the earth.
Yamraaj: - How can they find it, because we have installed a special firewall, in front of the center of the earth. Earlier we used some mechanism to throw the people away from the center of the earth. But, that did not work, the people were all alive and they always tried to break that firewall.
Harsha: - Then, what happened?
Yamraaj: - As per the instruction from “Lord Shiva”, we decided to kill the people, who will try to enter the center of the Earth. We installed a strong magnet, which looks like a Triangle and it covers an area, which resembled a Barmuda. So, it was later known as “Barmuda Triangle”. Whoever came near to this triangle, we provided them free membership of “Heaven” or “Hell”, whichever is applicable.
Harsha: - But, that is not fair. You are killing lots of people.
Yamraaj: - No, babah, they are not so innocent, they are deadly researchers and scientists. They know that, if they can have full control of the centre of the earth, then they will have control on the weather and global temperature of the earth. So, they will fine tune that, according to their needs. Here in this area, we have around 1500 large magnetic plates floating. It looks funny, but, if any plates get diverted from their position, then maybe you will find the world with small pieces of islands here and there. There will be no continents. But, if you can once get control of these plates, I can assure you that, it will produce both massive nuclear and thermal energy which is more than enough to produce the No.1 nuclear reactor in the whole universe. That is the main concern for us. Due to radioactivity, this triangle is losing lots of alpha, beta and gamma rays. So, there may be a chance that, after 100 years, this Barmuda Triangle will get weaker. Then at that juncture, we will not be able to tame these deadly scientists.
Harsha: - Wow, really we are grateful to you for sharing that information. See you later again. Good Bye.
Yamraaj: - Wow!, that was my dream project, to create a deadly triangle like that.
Harsha: - Sorry, I can’t get you, Sir.
Yamraaj: - Ok, let me call Lord “Brahma” on his mobile. Hello “Brahmaji”, today, “Harsha” is here to know about my dream project “Barmuda Triangle”. Should I disclose all the details?
Brahma: - Uff, this Harsha always have questions. Ok, tell him, only the overview or synopsis of the project report that you have submitted to us.
Yamraaj: - Ok, Brahmaji, thanks a lot.
Harsha: - Who assigned you this project and why?
Yamraaj: - See, actually there was a need to create this kind of deadly zone at the center of the earth, otherwise these Americans and Europeans would have reached the centre of the earth, and have destructed that also. Remember one thing; if there is any minute change in the centre of the earth, then the tectonic plates will be in great dilemma. Then, the entire world will look like an Earthquake zone.
Harsha: - but Sir, till now, no one has found out the center of the earth.
Yamraaj: - How can they find it, because we have installed a special firewall, in front of the center of the earth. Earlier we used some mechanism to throw the people away from the center of the earth. But, that did not work, the people were all alive and they always tried to break that firewall.
Harsha: - Then, what happened?
Yamraaj: - As per the instruction from “Lord Shiva”, we decided to kill the people, who will try to enter the center of the Earth. We installed a strong magnet, which looks like a Triangle and it covers an area, which resembled a Barmuda. So, it was later known as “Barmuda Triangle”. Whoever came near to this triangle, we provided them free membership of “Heaven” or “Hell”, whichever is applicable.
Harsha: - But, that is not fair. You are killing lots of people.
Yamraaj: - No, babah, they are not so innocent, they are deadly researchers and scientists. They know that, if they can have full control of the centre of the earth, then they will have control on the weather and global temperature of the earth. So, they will fine tune that, according to their needs. Here in this area, we have around 1500 large magnetic plates floating. It looks funny, but, if any plates get diverted from their position, then maybe you will find the world with small pieces of islands here and there. There will be no continents. But, if you can once get control of these plates, I can assure you that, it will produce both massive nuclear and thermal energy which is more than enough to produce the No.1 nuclear reactor in the whole universe. That is the main concern for us. Due to radioactivity, this triangle is losing lots of alpha, beta and gamma rays. So, there may be a chance that, after 100 years, this Barmuda Triangle will get weaker. Then at that juncture, we will not be able to tame these deadly scientists.
Harsha: - Wow, really we are grateful to you for sharing that information. See you later again. Good Bye.
CRAB OF GOA
Shaili: - Hello viewers, this is “Shaili Chopra” starting the program “NDTV Animal Interview”. Today, I am in one of the reputed Goa beaches. Here, I am going to interview “Peter”, the Crab of Goa.Good Morning “Peter”.
Peter: - Good morning Shaili. So, at last you are in Goa, to take my interview.
Shaili: - Why are you saying like that? This is the first time, I am in Goa and I am enjoying it.
Peter: - Everyone comes to enjoy here, but better be careful of any wrong persons.
Shaili: - Why, what happened?
Peter:- Oh, Shaili, you don’t know, this is the beach, where many foreign girls have been murdered already, after losing their so called “Ijjat”, to those anti-socials of Goa.
Shaili: - How can you say that? Have you seen all those things?
Peter: - Yes, my dear. I see theft, murder, drug-addiction, smuggling, here in this beach every week. This is a paradise for “Khullam-Kulla” anti-social activities.
Shaili: - But who was murdered here?
Peter: - Oh! God, you know nothing at all. Here at least 3 foreign girls have been murdered brutally.
Shaili: - But, what happened to those criminals? Were they punished?
Peter: - How can they be punished, boss. They are very close to politicians and smugglers.
Shaili: - But, I have heard that, the foreigners come here to enjoy the special drugs.
Peter: - Yes, you are absolutely right, can you see that corner in this beach, there they take drugs every evening and enjoy. Please be careful, while you walk on those beaches bare-footed. Because, sometimes the needle of the syringes can get pinched in your feet, and may cause AIDS, as those syringes are used by them for taking drugs.
Shaili: - So, automatically, these issues are affecting the tourism department of Goa.
Peter: - Not at all, earlier, had good and honest people used to travel here. Now big big Dons are visiting here with their family to spend holidays. After Dubai, Mauritius and Singapore, it is the Goa, which has become the holiday hunting place for the Dons. So, ultimately, who is in profit, the Goa Tourism Department?
Shaili: - So, do you have any solution to that?
Peter: - Actually the Goan culture is so liberal that, they don’t care if anyone is brutally killed or if anyone is drug-addicted. They just want to enjoy their life. They don’t care also, if they die after 1 minute, but the life has to be full of fun.
Shaili: - Peter, what is your ultimate last message for the tourists of Goa?
Peter: - My dear tourists, before coming to Goa, please book the hotel, which is safe as per the historical records. Do not indulge in any kind of drug or alcoholic session with any unknown person in Goa, and then there is a 95% chance that you will be robbed. Please be careful while drinking the local drink “Feni”. It is very strong for you.
Peter: - Good morning Shaili. So, at last you are in Goa, to take my interview.
Shaili: - Why are you saying like that? This is the first time, I am in Goa and I am enjoying it.
Peter: - Everyone comes to enjoy here, but better be careful of any wrong persons.
Shaili: - Why, what happened?
Peter:- Oh, Shaili, you don’t know, this is the beach, where many foreign girls have been murdered already, after losing their so called “Ijjat”, to those anti-socials of Goa.
Shaili: - How can you say that? Have you seen all those things?
Peter: - Yes, my dear. I see theft, murder, drug-addiction, smuggling, here in this beach every week. This is a paradise for “Khullam-Kulla” anti-social activities.
Shaili: - But who was murdered here?
Peter: - Oh! God, you know nothing at all. Here at least 3 foreign girls have been murdered brutally.
Shaili: - But, what happened to those criminals? Were they punished?
Peter: - How can they be punished, boss. They are very close to politicians and smugglers.
Shaili: - But, I have heard that, the foreigners come here to enjoy the special drugs.
Peter: - Yes, you are absolutely right, can you see that corner in this beach, there they take drugs every evening and enjoy. Please be careful, while you walk on those beaches bare-footed. Because, sometimes the needle of the syringes can get pinched in your feet, and may cause AIDS, as those syringes are used by them for taking drugs.
Shaili: - So, automatically, these issues are affecting the tourism department of Goa.
Peter: - Not at all, earlier, had good and honest people used to travel here. Now big big Dons are visiting here with their family to spend holidays. After Dubai, Mauritius and Singapore, it is the Goa, which has become the holiday hunting place for the Dons. So, ultimately, who is in profit, the Goa Tourism Department?
Shaili: - So, do you have any solution to that?
Peter: - Actually the Goan culture is so liberal that, they don’t care if anyone is brutally killed or if anyone is drug-addicted. They just want to enjoy their life. They don’t care also, if they die after 1 minute, but the life has to be full of fun.
Shaili: - Peter, what is your ultimate last message for the tourists of Goa?
Peter: - My dear tourists, before coming to Goa, please book the hotel, which is safe as per the historical records. Do not indulge in any kind of drug or alcoholic session with any unknown person in Goa, and then there is a 95% chance that you will be robbed. Please be careful while drinking the local drink “Feni”. It is very strong for you.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
FOOTBALL IN THE MOON
Harsha: - Hello viewers. I am “Harsha Bhogle” starting the program “World Prime Time”. Today, we have with us, the Chairman of “Space Football Association” (SFA), the famous Lord “Brahma”. Good Morning Sir.
Brahma: - Good Morning Harsha. Tell me, what do you want to know?
Harsha: - Sir, we have got the information that like “FIFA” in the planet Earth, the space people have also formed a football association “SFA”. So, when are we going to view a football match in the Space?
Brahma: - Yes, you are right. We are very excited about that. Already, we have formed a committee consisting of board members from “God” Team, “Asura” Team and the “Alien” Team.
Harsha: - Where is the venue of football matches?
Brahma: - Oh! You are not aware of the fact that, we have already created three football stadiums in the moon. It was so difficult to construct stadiums here. At last, they got completed.
Harsha: - but Sir, the football will fly out of the stadium, if someone kicks it hard.
Brahma: - No my dear, actually the football is made of iron, and the superpower magnets are installed in the outer part of the stadium, with a censor. Whenever the magnets will sense the iron football, it will attract it, and automatically it will throw the football into the stadium.
Harsha: - Ha Ha Ha, but the players will fly and hop, Sir, with oxygen mask.
Brahma: - No No, our jerseys will be made of Iron or Steel, with a helmet, with the oxygen mask.
Harsha: - Who will be the referee?
Brahma: - Well, we have selected all intelligent people for these posts, as they can find out easily, if there is any foul. For Example: - Lord “Narayana”, Lord “Ganesha”, Narad Muni etc. etc.
Harsha: - Can you name some of the players of your “God” Team?
Brahma: - Oh!, in the “God” Team, the captain is Lord “Shiva” as he can play football in a dancing mood, by taking his favorite “Gaanja”. The Goal Keeper is Lord “Krishna”. No one will dare to kick the football, due to his “Chakra” in the hand. The defender will be Lord “Indra”, as he is famous for giving some lightning effect. In the “Asura” Team, the captain is “Ravana”, with 10 heads. He can anytime give a goal, like “Zinedine Zidane”, as he has so many heads. “Kumbhakarna” is the defender and “Mahishasura” is the Goal Keeper. For the “Alien” Team, I am yet to get the Team list from the “Satanic” Planet. They are the real challenging team for us. As they play less football and more rugby.
Harsha: - Is there any “RED CARD” system here?
Brahma: - Yes, we have, but it is valid for only 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, again that “RED Carded” player can play the game. But, if that player gets 5 “RED CARDS“in a match, then he will be suspended from “SFA” for 1 month.
Harsha: - Ok, Sir, we will surely look for the “LIVE “coverage. When will the competition start?
Brahma: - It will officially start from 2011. Till then, Good Bye, Harsha.
Brahma: - Good Morning Harsha. Tell me, what do you want to know?
Harsha: - Sir, we have got the information that like “FIFA” in the planet Earth, the space people have also formed a football association “SFA”. So, when are we going to view a football match in the Space?
Brahma: - Yes, you are right. We are very excited about that. Already, we have formed a committee consisting of board members from “God” Team, “Asura” Team and the “Alien” Team.
Harsha: - Where is the venue of football matches?
Brahma: - Oh! You are not aware of the fact that, we have already created three football stadiums in the moon. It was so difficult to construct stadiums here. At last, they got completed.
Harsha: - but Sir, the football will fly out of the stadium, if someone kicks it hard.
Brahma: - No my dear, actually the football is made of iron, and the superpower magnets are installed in the outer part of the stadium, with a censor. Whenever the magnets will sense the iron football, it will attract it, and automatically it will throw the football into the stadium.
Harsha: - Ha Ha Ha, but the players will fly and hop, Sir, with oxygen mask.
Brahma: - No No, our jerseys will be made of Iron or Steel, with a helmet, with the oxygen mask.
Harsha: - Who will be the referee?
Brahma: - Well, we have selected all intelligent people for these posts, as they can find out easily, if there is any foul. For Example: - Lord “Narayana”, Lord “Ganesha”, Narad Muni etc. etc.
Harsha: - Can you name some of the players of your “God” Team?
Brahma: - Oh!, in the “God” Team, the captain is Lord “Shiva” as he can play football in a dancing mood, by taking his favorite “Gaanja”. The Goal Keeper is Lord “Krishna”. No one will dare to kick the football, due to his “Chakra” in the hand. The defender will be Lord “Indra”, as he is famous for giving some lightning effect. In the “Asura” Team, the captain is “Ravana”, with 10 heads. He can anytime give a goal, like “Zinedine Zidane”, as he has so many heads. “Kumbhakarna” is the defender and “Mahishasura” is the Goal Keeper. For the “Alien” Team, I am yet to get the Team list from the “Satanic” Planet. They are the real challenging team for us. As they play less football and more rugby.
Harsha: - Is there any “RED CARD” system here?
Brahma: - Yes, we have, but it is valid for only 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, again that “RED Carded” player can play the game. But, if that player gets 5 “RED CARDS“in a match, then he will be suspended from “SFA” for 1 month.
Harsha: - Ok, Sir, we will surely look for the “LIVE “coverage. When will the competition start?
Brahma: - It will officially start from 2011. Till then, Good Bye, Harsha.
TUBAITU IS DEAD
Shaili: - Hello, viewers, I am “Shaili Chopra” starting the show “NDTV Animal Interview”. At present, I am in a Japanese beach, where you can see the deadly waves of “Pacific Ocean”. But, Japanese people are more deadly. Today, they have caught the famous whale “Tubaitu”. He will be killed after 15 minutes. He is injured now and lying on this beach. There are lots of allegations against him that since last 3 months, he charged as many as 3 big Japanese ships and drowned them.
Tubaitu: - So, you are doing my live coverage. Uff, you humans are so cruel.
Shaili: - We are not cruel. You killed at least 100 people, within these 3 months. What about that? Why suddenly, you started attacking the ships. Earlier, there were no whales in this Pacific Ocean, who attacked the Japanese ships. Why only you? That means you are a very cruel animal.
Tubaitu: - Can you give me back my “Samunairo”?
Shaili: - sorry, I can’t get you.
Tubaitu: - I was never a so aggressive animal. In my family, I was the most introvert type. I was very shy and I used to roam around in my territory near Hawaii islands, where people used to do diving. In this ocean, there are plenty of foods for whales, so, we don’t even bother to attack humans, and we always considered them as our friend.
Shaili: - By the way, who is this “Samunairo”.
Tubaitu: - She was my wife, dear. One day, my mother told us, that we will explore a new territory near the Japanese shore, where there are lots of good tasty fishes to feed on. There, I met this beautiful lady whale “Samunairo”. I just fell in love with her.
Shaili: - Wow, quite interesting. It’s a love story of whales, ha ha ha …
Tubaitu: - There is nothing to laugh, dear. You people are also animals only. I told her, to go with me to my own territory. But, she loved her own territory and she was not ready to leave that place. My mother told me that, you can live with your wife here, only. We will frequently come here to see your family.
Shaili: - Then what went wrong?
Tubaitu: - Everything was going well. We were very happy with our family. But, suddenly, the brutal Japanese government got some orders from foreign countries to make leather shoes and jackets. They then ordered their fishermen and navy to go for hunting all the whales. One night, my mother and younger brothers came to our territory. We were having so much fun that night, in the deep ocean. The very next moment, I saw the waters full of blood. A series of harpoons have been thrown on my family members. My mother, brothers and my beloved “Samunairo” is spot dead in front of me. I was shocked, I cried, but of no use. They took all the dead bodies in the ship and went away.
Shaili: - Oh! My God.
Tubaitu: - Then, in three months, I took the revenge. I killed around 100 Japanese people including fishermen and passengers. I just wanted their family members to feel, how it hurts, when you lose your beloved ones. Now, they have caught me and they will kill me after 1 minute or so. Tell me now, who is crueler?
Shaili: - Viewers, as you can clearly see now, the “Tubaitu is Dead”as they have killed him now. Good Bye.
Tubaitu: - So, you are doing my live coverage. Uff, you humans are so cruel.
Shaili: - We are not cruel. You killed at least 100 people, within these 3 months. What about that? Why suddenly, you started attacking the ships. Earlier, there were no whales in this Pacific Ocean, who attacked the Japanese ships. Why only you? That means you are a very cruel animal.
Tubaitu: - Can you give me back my “Samunairo”?
Shaili: - sorry, I can’t get you.
Tubaitu: - I was never a so aggressive animal. In my family, I was the most introvert type. I was very shy and I used to roam around in my territory near Hawaii islands, where people used to do diving. In this ocean, there are plenty of foods for whales, so, we don’t even bother to attack humans, and we always considered them as our friend.
Shaili: - By the way, who is this “Samunairo”.
Tubaitu: - She was my wife, dear. One day, my mother told us, that we will explore a new territory near the Japanese shore, where there are lots of good tasty fishes to feed on. There, I met this beautiful lady whale “Samunairo”. I just fell in love with her.
Shaili: - Wow, quite interesting. It’s a love story of whales, ha ha ha …
Tubaitu: - There is nothing to laugh, dear. You people are also animals only. I told her, to go with me to my own territory. But, she loved her own territory and she was not ready to leave that place. My mother told me that, you can live with your wife here, only. We will frequently come here to see your family.
Shaili: - Then what went wrong?
Tubaitu: - Everything was going well. We were very happy with our family. But, suddenly, the brutal Japanese government got some orders from foreign countries to make leather shoes and jackets. They then ordered their fishermen and navy to go for hunting all the whales. One night, my mother and younger brothers came to our territory. We were having so much fun that night, in the deep ocean. The very next moment, I saw the waters full of blood. A series of harpoons have been thrown on my family members. My mother, brothers and my beloved “Samunairo” is spot dead in front of me. I was shocked, I cried, but of no use. They took all the dead bodies in the ship and went away.
Shaili: - Oh! My God.
Tubaitu: - Then, in three months, I took the revenge. I killed around 100 Japanese people including fishermen and passengers. I just wanted their family members to feel, how it hurts, when you lose your beloved ones. Now, they have caught me and they will kill me after 1 minute or so. Tell me now, who is crueler?
Shaili: - Viewers, as you can clearly see now, the “Tubaitu is Dead”as they have killed him now. Good Bye.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
SBI VS ICICI BANK
“Offfh ho, how many times I have to tell you boss, that today, we cannot open your savings account in our bank. Please come tomorrow. You can go now.” shouted “Roma”, the employee of a reputed bank “State Bank of India”. “Arindam” got really frustrated and fed up with the behavior of these employees towards their customers. But, still it is a good reputed bank. So, there is no other option rather than to accept their bad behaviors.
“Ki holo, your job is done, or not?” asked “Madhurima”, the wife of “Arindam”.
Arindam: - No, they told me to come tomorrow. Today, I thought, that the savings account will be opened, as I am on leave today. But, all went in vain. Again tomorrow, I have to go there, from my office.
Madhurima: - Oh!, that is a normal thing, I have hardly seen any person, who has been able to open a savings account, in a single day. After all they are the employees of a reputed bank. You have to learn the skills of oiling or buttering them. Always call them “Sir” or “Madam”, otherwise they will just ignore you. After all, that is their bank, naah, not yours, honey.
Arindam: - Ok, let me go again, tomorrow, to your so-called reputed SBI.Next day, again “Arindam” went to the SBI bank, for opening the savings account. One Clerk asked him,” Yes, what do you want? Oh! You want to open a savings account. Just fill up the form, and wait there, we will call you. Do, you have any other queries.” “Arindam” had no other option, rather than to listen their lectures.
He followed the instruction, and was waiting for the call. It was around 1 PM, he asked that same clerk, “Accha, Sir, I have been waiting here for 1 hour, for my call, actually, you can understand my problem. I have to go back to my office also.” The clerk got furious and shouted, “What do you think about us? Are we robots here? We are working so hard, can’t you see? We are yet to finish reading the last paper of the newspaper today. Ok, do one thing, go to “Roma” madam, she will help you.”As per the instructions, “Arindam” went to meet the so-called “Roma” madam, with the application form in his hand. “Roma” asked, “Oh! You have come again. But, now it is not possible, boss. Because, it is already 1.05 PM, it is the time to go for lunch. You better come after 2.30 PM, boss. We will try to open your savings account, by today only.”
“Madhurima” called his hubby, on his mobile. “Madhurima” asked, “Where are you, now?”
Arindam: - I am at your so called reputed “SBI”. I am waiting here in the bank, to open a savings account.
Madhurima: - Just get out of there, and meet me in front of the “Paradise Circle” at 1.30 PM. My friend “Sohini” works in the ICICI Bank.She is saying that, the savings account will be opened within half an hour.
Arindam: - Ok, I am coming within 15 minutes.After 20 minutes, “Arindam” met them in the “Paradise Circle”.
Sohini: - Hello Sir! I am “Sohini”. Do you have all the documents with you now?
“Arindam” said, “Yes, I have.”
Sohini: - Ok, Sir, that’s great. Just give me the photocopy of these documents, fill up this form, and provide a passport size photograph. Within 30 minutes, your account will be opened. After that, you can go to your office, Sir.
Arindam: - My dear “Madhurima”, see the fun. Still you will say that SBI is a reputed bank. Ha Ha Ha…
“Ki holo, your job is done, or not?” asked “Madhurima”, the wife of “Arindam”.
Arindam: - No, they told me to come tomorrow. Today, I thought, that the savings account will be opened, as I am on leave today. But, all went in vain. Again tomorrow, I have to go there, from my office.
Madhurima: - Oh!, that is a normal thing, I have hardly seen any person, who has been able to open a savings account, in a single day. After all they are the employees of a reputed bank. You have to learn the skills of oiling or buttering them. Always call them “Sir” or “Madam”, otherwise they will just ignore you. After all, that is their bank, naah, not yours, honey.
Arindam: - Ok, let me go again, tomorrow, to your so-called reputed SBI.Next day, again “Arindam” went to the SBI bank, for opening the savings account. One Clerk asked him,” Yes, what do you want? Oh! You want to open a savings account. Just fill up the form, and wait there, we will call you. Do, you have any other queries.” “Arindam” had no other option, rather than to listen their lectures.
He followed the instruction, and was waiting for the call. It was around 1 PM, he asked that same clerk, “Accha, Sir, I have been waiting here for 1 hour, for my call, actually, you can understand my problem. I have to go back to my office also.” The clerk got furious and shouted, “What do you think about us? Are we robots here? We are working so hard, can’t you see? We are yet to finish reading the last paper of the newspaper today. Ok, do one thing, go to “Roma” madam, she will help you.”As per the instructions, “Arindam” went to meet the so-called “Roma” madam, with the application form in his hand. “Roma” asked, “Oh! You have come again. But, now it is not possible, boss. Because, it is already 1.05 PM, it is the time to go for lunch. You better come after 2.30 PM, boss. We will try to open your savings account, by today only.”
“Madhurima” called his hubby, on his mobile. “Madhurima” asked, “Where are you, now?”
Arindam: - I am at your so called reputed “SBI”. I am waiting here in the bank, to open a savings account.
Madhurima: - Just get out of there, and meet me in front of the “Paradise Circle” at 1.30 PM. My friend “Sohini” works in the ICICI Bank.She is saying that, the savings account will be opened within half an hour.
Arindam: - Ok, I am coming within 15 minutes.After 20 minutes, “Arindam” met them in the “Paradise Circle”.
Sohini: - Hello Sir! I am “Sohini”. Do you have all the documents with you now?
“Arindam” said, “Yes, I have.”
Sohini: - Ok, Sir, that’s great. Just give me the photocopy of these documents, fill up this form, and provide a passport size photograph. Within 30 minutes, your account will be opened. After that, you can go to your office, Sir.
Arindam: - My dear “Madhurima”, see the fun. Still you will say that SBI is a reputed bank. Ha Ha Ha…
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
FUSION
“Hello everyone, this is “Harsha Bhogle”, starting the program “World Prime Time”. Today, I have with me the Lord “Shiva”, in the moon, who is working on some real “Fusion”of different genes out here.
Harsha: - Hello Sir, so, when you have reached the moon?
Shiva: - I reached here, day before yesterday. I started my journey from “Kailash Parvat” only. Are you from the Indian Media?
Harsha: - Yes Sir.
Shiva: - Then, my “Parvathi” can view in the “Swarga” Television Channel. Hello, Parvathi, I am fine here. Please do not worry about me.
Harsha: - Tell me, sir, why are you here?
Shiva: - Oh, we are in a very big project, dear. Due, to global warming, the content of carbon dioxide has increased too much in the planet earth. These humans are just cutting down trees, now, who will breathe the carbon dioxide? Tell me.
Harsha: - I have no clue, sir.
Shiva: - Ha ha, Due to the helping hand of “NASA” and Devi “Saraswati”, with her huge astronomical knowledge, we have located one planet, known as “Satanic”, which is too far from here. It takes around 10 years, to reach there. Earlier, we sent a trained dog, but that died, before reaching the spot. Now, we are planning to send Lord “Krishna” there.
Harsha: - What is so special in that planet?
Shiva: - Well, the animals of that planet “Satanic” are double the size of humans. They only breath in “Carbon dioxide”, and gives out “Oxygen” in the air. They don’t drink water, but only acids. Their foods are plastics. In that planet, there is all kind of natural plastics here and there.
Harsha: - Wow, so you want to bring them here in the moon, and you will utilize them to control the content of “Carbon dioxide” in the Earth, whenever required. Nice idea, sir.
Shiva: - Exactly! But the problem is that they hardly understand our language. They always speak in binary language, i.e. combination of “0” and “1”. Very difficult to interpret them and another problem is their huge size. They will hardly fit in our spaceships, unless they plan to come here in the moon, with their own spaceships. It is a very huge and dangerous project. But, if it is successful, then I can ensure, world will never be destroyed. We are hoping to complete this project by 2099.
Harsha: - But, what about the “Fusion”of the genes?
Shiva: - Ya, we are also planning to produce a hybrid type of animals, by fusing two types of genes. It will create an animal, who can breathe in and out both carbon dioxide and oxygen, as if like the mobile phone having two SIM cards operating simultaneously, automatically switching from one SIM card to the other, as per the situation. It will be a fascinating animal to watch, if they can be produced.
Harsha: - Best of luck, sir, for your projects. Viewers, here we end our show. See you soon. Bye Bye.
Harsha: - Hello Sir, so, when you have reached the moon?
Shiva: - I reached here, day before yesterday. I started my journey from “Kailash Parvat” only. Are you from the Indian Media?
Harsha: - Yes Sir.
Shiva: - Then, my “Parvathi” can view in the “Swarga” Television Channel. Hello, Parvathi, I am fine here. Please do not worry about me.
Harsha: - Tell me, sir, why are you here?
Shiva: - Oh, we are in a very big project, dear. Due, to global warming, the content of carbon dioxide has increased too much in the planet earth. These humans are just cutting down trees, now, who will breathe the carbon dioxide? Tell me.
Harsha: - I have no clue, sir.
Shiva: - Ha ha, Due to the helping hand of “NASA” and Devi “Saraswati”, with her huge astronomical knowledge, we have located one planet, known as “Satanic”, which is too far from here. It takes around 10 years, to reach there. Earlier, we sent a trained dog, but that died, before reaching the spot. Now, we are planning to send Lord “Krishna” there.
Harsha: - What is so special in that planet?
Shiva: - Well, the animals of that planet “Satanic” are double the size of humans. They only breath in “Carbon dioxide”, and gives out “Oxygen” in the air. They don’t drink water, but only acids. Their foods are plastics. In that planet, there is all kind of natural plastics here and there.
Harsha: - Wow, so you want to bring them here in the moon, and you will utilize them to control the content of “Carbon dioxide” in the Earth, whenever required. Nice idea, sir.
Shiva: - Exactly! But the problem is that they hardly understand our language. They always speak in binary language, i.e. combination of “0” and “1”. Very difficult to interpret them and another problem is their huge size. They will hardly fit in our spaceships, unless they plan to come here in the moon, with their own spaceships. It is a very huge and dangerous project. But, if it is successful, then I can ensure, world will never be destroyed. We are hoping to complete this project by 2099.
Harsha: - But, what about the “Fusion”of the genes?
Shiva: - Ya, we are also planning to produce a hybrid type of animals, by fusing two types of genes. It will create an animal, who can breathe in and out both carbon dioxide and oxygen, as if like the mobile phone having two SIM cards operating simultaneously, automatically switching from one SIM card to the other, as per the situation. It will be a fascinating animal to watch, if they can be produced.
Harsha: - Best of luck, sir, for your projects. Viewers, here we end our show. See you soon. Bye Bye.
OH! MY CAPTAIN
“I will retire from the International Cricket, after this test series against the “Ausley” cricket team”, declared “Saudren Gangony”. The entire cricket lovers of “Honda” country got shocked, but also knew, there is no other option. They said, “Oh! My Captain,you have been just shattered due to the politics in that game of cricket, which we consider as our religion”.
Yes, indeed it is a brutal truth. There was time in the history of “Hondan” cricket, when betting scandal was at its peak. At that juncture, the talented cricketer cum captain “Mohaden Azhoni” was involved in the betting scandal. It was really a black day for the world cricket, when the betting scandal came out.
That time, the cricket team “Honda” was just in a mess. Then, one man named “Saudren Gangony”, who hailed from eastern zone of “Honda”, took the charge of the entire team.Really, what a team it became, they defeated the “Venomese” cricket team on their home ground. The government of “Venom” ruled “Honda” for 200 years and invented the game of cricket, but still they have never won a world cup. What to say about “Saudren”, he took up his shirt, and enjoyed the victory. After that day, this captain never looked back. He just ruled with his team. Just lost the world cup final to “Ausley” cricket team, but still they were a good team.
After 2 years, the “Honda” Cricket board, decided to change the coach. There were many options, but due to the request of “Saudren”, the one-time famous cricketer of “Ausley” cricket team became the coach of “Honda” cricket team. His name is “Green Chappallendo”. “Green” was very clever. As he had the “Ausley” blood in his body, he thought, this is my turn to totally destroy this team, so that in the next world cup, “Ausley” cricket team will win the world cup, very easily.In that “Honda” team, there were other great players like “Robin David”, “Sachel Tendulamani”, “Virendrola Sehwayney”, “Harold Singhoy” and others. “Green” used “David” and played the old tricks of “Divide and Rule”.
The politics also started in the Cricket Board. “Jagmora Dalmani” was thrown out, and “Sharodon Poweroni” took over the charge.Now, war began between “Chappallendo” and “Gangony”. “Green” showed one censored finger, which became famous in “Honda”, but ultimately “Gangony” was thrown out of the team. But, that tiger again came back like a wounded tiger, in the team, and proved “Chappallendo”, that we “Hondans” do not bother your bloody finger.
When “Saudren” came back to the cricket team of “Honda”, the people of this country burnt the posters and dolls of “Chappallendo”. Why not, they were so happy to see their “Hondan” tiger back in action.But, that tiger was getting old. Another Hero emerged “Mahavir Dhonila”, who really continued from where “Gangony” left the team. Forget about “David”, he was not good at captaincy, only he was a Great Wall of “Honda”.
Observing the entire situation, and being fed-up with the politics of the “Honda” cricket board, “Gangony” decided to give his retirement.But, what a retirement it was. He played like a tiger, and took his retirement. The cricket lovers said we will miss a “Mastaan” cum “Off-side magician” in our “Honda” cricket team. We don’t know, whether we will get any other tigers or not, but still we will miss him.One media person once asked “Gangony”, “Oh! My Captain,are there any tigers in the present “Honda” cricket team. “Gangony” confirmed, “Yes, can’t you see the emerging tiger whose name is “Mahavir Dhonila”. I still repent not to win the cricket world cup, but I want this tiger to go for a real hunt and win that world cup. Best of Luck to the entire “Honda” cricket team.”
Yes, indeed it is a brutal truth. There was time in the history of “Hondan” cricket, when betting scandal was at its peak. At that juncture, the talented cricketer cum captain “Mohaden Azhoni” was involved in the betting scandal. It was really a black day for the world cricket, when the betting scandal came out.
That time, the cricket team “Honda” was just in a mess. Then, one man named “Saudren Gangony”, who hailed from eastern zone of “Honda”, took the charge of the entire team.Really, what a team it became, they defeated the “Venomese” cricket team on their home ground. The government of “Venom” ruled “Honda” for 200 years and invented the game of cricket, but still they have never won a world cup. What to say about “Saudren”, he took up his shirt, and enjoyed the victory. After that day, this captain never looked back. He just ruled with his team. Just lost the world cup final to “Ausley” cricket team, but still they were a good team.
After 2 years, the “Honda” Cricket board, decided to change the coach. There were many options, but due to the request of “Saudren”, the one-time famous cricketer of “Ausley” cricket team became the coach of “Honda” cricket team. His name is “Green Chappallendo”. “Green” was very clever. As he had the “Ausley” blood in his body, he thought, this is my turn to totally destroy this team, so that in the next world cup, “Ausley” cricket team will win the world cup, very easily.In that “Honda” team, there were other great players like “Robin David”, “Sachel Tendulamani”, “Virendrola Sehwayney”, “Harold Singhoy” and others. “Green” used “David” and played the old tricks of “Divide and Rule”.
The politics also started in the Cricket Board. “Jagmora Dalmani” was thrown out, and “Sharodon Poweroni” took over the charge.Now, war began between “Chappallendo” and “Gangony”. “Green” showed one censored finger, which became famous in “Honda”, but ultimately “Gangony” was thrown out of the team. But, that tiger again came back like a wounded tiger, in the team, and proved “Chappallendo”, that we “Hondans” do not bother your bloody finger.
When “Saudren” came back to the cricket team of “Honda”, the people of this country burnt the posters and dolls of “Chappallendo”. Why not, they were so happy to see their “Hondan” tiger back in action.But, that tiger was getting old. Another Hero emerged “Mahavir Dhonila”, who really continued from where “Gangony” left the team. Forget about “David”, he was not good at captaincy, only he was a Great Wall of “Honda”.
Observing the entire situation, and being fed-up with the politics of the “Honda” cricket board, “Gangony” decided to give his retirement.But, what a retirement it was. He played like a tiger, and took his retirement. The cricket lovers said we will miss a “Mastaan” cum “Off-side magician” in our “Honda” cricket team. We don’t know, whether we will get any other tigers or not, but still we will miss him.One media person once asked “Gangony”, “Oh! My Captain,are there any tigers in the present “Honda” cricket team. “Gangony” confirmed, “Yes, can’t you see the emerging tiger whose name is “Mahavir Dhonila”. I still repent not to win the cricket world cup, but I want this tiger to go for a real hunt and win that world cup. Best of Luck to the entire “Honda” cricket team.”
COFFEE WITH MANEKA
“Oho, I am sorry, “Maneka”, I am late by 15 minutes”, regretted “Arindam”, the controversial and critical story writer, of a reputed company.
Maneka: - Aha re!, there is no need to give those false regrets, as we are aware of your bad habit of coming late. That is why, we have told you to come 30 minutes earlier. So, at least you have joined our program “Coffee with Maneka”, 15 minutes before start.
Arindam: - Ok, great!, now tell me, why you have called me here? What do you want to know?
Maneka: - Just relax buddy, we just want to have some coffee time with you. Accha tell me, one thing, what is your connection with these characters like “Shaili Chopra”, “Harsha Bhogle”, “All the Gods”, “All kinds of animals” and “Arindam” with some female characters. In every story or the other, that you write, I find them.
Arindam: - Ha Ha Ha, what a funny question. They are my favorites, that is why, I always keep them, and regarding the animals, I keep myself on their shoes, and start thinking, what would have happened, if I would have been a tiger, dog or horse. Then, according to my visualization and observation, automatically a story gets created. I can’t help it... he he he...
Maneka: - Now, it sounds funny, how your company gives you the liberty, to think in such an idiotic fashion?
Arindam: - Arrey!, the big big people speaks about “Change Management”, “Idea Plant”, “Out-of the Box” thinking. What are those things? Those funda lies in, how you put your character in a different form in several types of situation, and come out with ideas or action plans. Write those ideas and action plans, in a piece of paper. Now, arrange them in a feasible manner, by cross-checking and questioning it. Oh, my goodness, at the end of the day, you are there with a solution. In my case, the solution is a “Short Story” of 1 page, with the font ‘Calibri’ with size of 10.
Maneka: - Let us have a sip to the coffee. My head is already paining. Accha, what about these tours and wildlife stories. Do you love animals? I love them too. But, I want to know, is there any problem with the wildlife in Hyderabad?
Arindam: - Not too much, but yes, there is some problem. Specially, the National Parks, that exists in the middle as well as outskirts of Hyderabad. Because, the Real Estate promoters are just trying to bribe the government personnel to grab those lands and they have already succeeded in doing that. So, as you are famous for your love towards the animals, please take some initiative. Already, your family member belongs to that political party only, which rules the “Andhra Pradesh”.
Maneka: - You hail from that so-called lazy and troubled “West Bengal”. Maybe, “Andhra” culture has helped you to become a writer.
Arindam: - Both “Bengali” and “Andhra” cultures are very much similar to me. Only difference is, we “Bengalis” are very “adda baaj” and aggressive, as if like our Dada “Saurav Ganguly”, and sometimes, that creates a problem. And regarding the writing skills, boss, I am just nothing to those great legends like “Rabindranath Tagore”, “Satyajit Ray”, “Saratchandra Chattopaddhay”, “Bankimchandra” and “Vidyasagar”, who hails from Bengal only.
Maneka: - Uff, really you need a “French Red Wine” instead of that coffee. How is your company doing right now? I am sure; wounded tigers will again come back and rule. I wish ‘Best of Luck’ to all your colleagues.
Maneka: - Aha re!, there is no need to give those false regrets, as we are aware of your bad habit of coming late. That is why, we have told you to come 30 minutes earlier. So, at least you have joined our program “Coffee with Maneka”, 15 minutes before start.
Arindam: - Ok, great!, now tell me, why you have called me here? What do you want to know?
Maneka: - Just relax buddy, we just want to have some coffee time with you. Accha tell me, one thing, what is your connection with these characters like “Shaili Chopra”, “Harsha Bhogle”, “All the Gods”, “All kinds of animals” and “Arindam” with some female characters. In every story or the other, that you write, I find them.
Arindam: - Ha Ha Ha, what a funny question. They are my favorites, that is why, I always keep them, and regarding the animals, I keep myself on their shoes, and start thinking, what would have happened, if I would have been a tiger, dog or horse. Then, according to my visualization and observation, automatically a story gets created. I can’t help it... he he he...
Maneka: - Now, it sounds funny, how your company gives you the liberty, to think in such an idiotic fashion?
Arindam: - Arrey!, the big big people speaks about “Change Management”, “Idea Plant”, “Out-of the Box” thinking. What are those things? Those funda lies in, how you put your character in a different form in several types of situation, and come out with ideas or action plans. Write those ideas and action plans, in a piece of paper. Now, arrange them in a feasible manner, by cross-checking and questioning it. Oh, my goodness, at the end of the day, you are there with a solution. In my case, the solution is a “Short Story” of 1 page, with the font ‘Calibri’ with size of 10.
Maneka: - Let us have a sip to the coffee. My head is already paining. Accha, what about these tours and wildlife stories. Do you love animals? I love them too. But, I want to know, is there any problem with the wildlife in Hyderabad?
Arindam: - Not too much, but yes, there is some problem. Specially, the National Parks, that exists in the middle as well as outskirts of Hyderabad. Because, the Real Estate promoters are just trying to bribe the government personnel to grab those lands and they have already succeeded in doing that. So, as you are famous for your love towards the animals, please take some initiative. Already, your family member belongs to that political party only, which rules the “Andhra Pradesh”.
Maneka: - You hail from that so-called lazy and troubled “West Bengal”. Maybe, “Andhra” culture has helped you to become a writer.
Arindam: - Both “Bengali” and “Andhra” cultures are very much similar to me. Only difference is, we “Bengalis” are very “adda baaj” and aggressive, as if like our Dada “Saurav Ganguly”, and sometimes, that creates a problem. And regarding the writing skills, boss, I am just nothing to those great legends like “Rabindranath Tagore”, “Satyajit Ray”, “Saratchandra Chattopaddhay”, “Bankimchandra” and “Vidyasagar”, who hails from Bengal only.
Maneka: - Uff, really you need a “French Red Wine” instead of that coffee. How is your company doing right now? I am sure; wounded tigers will again come back and rule. I wish ‘Best of Luck’ to all your colleagues.
RACING HORSE
Shaili:- Hello Everybody, I am Shaili Chopra, starting the program “NDTV Animal Interview”. Today, we have the famous “Racing Horse” with us. His name is “Rony”.Well Rony, tell me how you became the No. 1 “Racing Horse”of Kolkata Race course. At one time, you were the King of this track.
Rony: - See, it really depends on your trainer, how you will be trained? My trainer cum jockey “Peter” always used to say that, do not speed up in the initial stages of the race. Always, play the game as an underdog. When, you are in the second last lap, just start running from the left side of the track, and when you are viewing the target point in a straight line, just pick up your speed with full energy. And, I have already succeeded in it.
Shaili: - Did you ever felt guilty, when people committed suicide, by investing money on the other horses, whom you defeated?
Rony: - Boss, that is a “Race” and “Gambling”. Either you lose or you win. Even big businessmen like “Vijay Malia” also lose the game, but that is ok. But, in Kolkata, it was a disaster. In one particular year, around 15 people committed suicide, after getting defeated in the Kolkata Racing Gambling. In the next year, due to the objections from the High Court, the “Kolkata Race Course” completely got closed. Our career got doomed.
Shaili: - Then, what happened to you, after that.
Rony: - I got listed in the “Bombay Race Course”, and again got victory. But, after 2 years, my trainer cum jockey “Peter” died, by falling from my back. I never thought, such an accident will occur. I was literally shocked on that day. After, “Peter”, I hardly got any good jockey or trainer, and my performance degraded. After 1 year, I got de-listed from the “Bombay Race Course”.
Shaili: - Now, where are you? What are you doing nowadays?
Rony: - Well, for 2 years, I was in Agra, for driving the “Ekka Gaadi”. After that, now, a man named “Hafiz” has bought me from there. Now, I am driving the “Tanga Gaadi” in front of “Victoria Memorial” of Kolkata, every afternoon.
Shaili: - Are you enjoying your new job, at present?
Rony: - Ya, of course, why not. See, I am getting older. I do not have enough speed now, to win the races. But, at least I am driving a “historical” tanga car, with lots of romantic couples and visitors riding it every day. At least, now no one can blame me, that for winning the race, many people have committed suicide. Now, I have to go for my duty. My master “Hafiz” is coming to take me.
Shaili: - Thanks for your valuable time, Rony. See you again later. Take care, bye bye. Viewers, we are ending the program here. Have a nice day. This is Shaili signing off.
Rony: - See, it really depends on your trainer, how you will be trained? My trainer cum jockey “Peter” always used to say that, do not speed up in the initial stages of the race. Always, play the game as an underdog. When, you are in the second last lap, just start running from the left side of the track, and when you are viewing the target point in a straight line, just pick up your speed with full energy. And, I have already succeeded in it.
Shaili: - Did you ever felt guilty, when people committed suicide, by investing money on the other horses, whom you defeated?
Rony: - Boss, that is a “Race” and “Gambling”. Either you lose or you win. Even big businessmen like “Vijay Malia” also lose the game, but that is ok. But, in Kolkata, it was a disaster. In one particular year, around 15 people committed suicide, after getting defeated in the Kolkata Racing Gambling. In the next year, due to the objections from the High Court, the “Kolkata Race Course” completely got closed. Our career got doomed.
Shaili: - Then, what happened to you, after that.
Rony: - I got listed in the “Bombay Race Course”, and again got victory. But, after 2 years, my trainer cum jockey “Peter” died, by falling from my back. I never thought, such an accident will occur. I was literally shocked on that day. After, “Peter”, I hardly got any good jockey or trainer, and my performance degraded. After 1 year, I got de-listed from the “Bombay Race Course”.
Shaili: - Now, where are you? What are you doing nowadays?
Rony: - Well, for 2 years, I was in Agra, for driving the “Ekka Gaadi”. After that, now, a man named “Hafiz” has bought me from there. Now, I am driving the “Tanga Gaadi” in front of “Victoria Memorial” of Kolkata, every afternoon.
Shaili: - Are you enjoying your new job, at present?
Rony: - Ya, of course, why not. See, I am getting older. I do not have enough speed now, to win the races. But, at least I am driving a “historical” tanga car, with lots of romantic couples and visitors riding it every day. At least, now no one can blame me, that for winning the race, many people have committed suicide. Now, I have to go for my duty. My master “Hafiz” is coming to take me.
Shaili: - Thanks for your valuable time, Rony. See you again later. Take care, bye bye. Viewers, we are ending the program here. Have a nice day. This is Shaili signing off.
DISMISSED DIVORCE CASE
“Wow, Mr. Sanjay, this is the first time, in my life, I am handling this kind of “Divorce” case. You have lodged a divorce case, due to some funny reasons, said, the “Arindam”, the famous divorce lawyer.
Sanjay: - Look, “Arindam”, you will be given enough money; you just need to do your job.
Arindam: - Can I speak to your wife now?
Sanjay: - Of course, why not.
Arindam: - Well “Shalini”, within a span of 3 months of your marriage, what went wrong suddenly?
Shalini: - “Arindam”, the problem is not me; it’s my father “Subburaj”. I also get to know that, he is not a government employee, he is a street beggar. He begs every day, in the streets, far away from our locality, and earns money. “Sanjay” came to know about my father, and his family do not want me as his housewife, due to some ‘status’ problem in the society.
Arindam: - Oh, that is why, your father “Subburaj” is also present here. Well, “Sir”, can you please clarify to us, why suddenly you choose this “Begging” as your profession, and how much do you earn.
Subburaj: - In a city like “Mumbai”, you will earn at least Rs. 700 – Rs.1000/- per day. Then, if you can earn that amount, by only begging, without any hard work, why not go for that profession. Today, what will you do with your “Status”, if you do not have money to feed yourself twice a day?
Arindam: - My goodness, you are feeling happy and proud to be a beggar. Uff, that sounds horrible. Ok, if you are so proud of your profession, then why you have not told to anyone, even to your own family members also.
Subburaj: - If I would have told that, no one would have accepted my daughter in good modern schools and colleges. Today, my daughter is a “HR Manager” of a reputed company. I am proud of my daughter. My earnings through begging, has proved to be a fruitful one.
Arindam:- But, what will happen now, if this case goes to the High Court or Media, it will be disclosed, and your daughter will be in trouble.
Subburaj:- I don’t know, Arindam, but , I only know that I begged throughout my life as a beggar, to prevent my daughter to become a beggar like me.
Arindam: - Wow, that’s great boss. Ei Shalini, you should be proud of your father. He is your real fantastic father, yaar. Forget this idiot “Sanjay”. If he wants a divorce, you accept it. I will marry you after that.
Sanjay:-Just hang on, “Arindam”; I want to take the correct decision. Give me some time.
Shalini: - You have only 5 minutes time to take the correct decision. Otherwise, I will have no option, other than to marry “Arindam”.
Sanjay: - Ok, done, I don’t want a divorce.
Arindam: - Hurrah!, my operation is successful. This is a “Dismissed Divorce Case”now. Let me tell you one thing, “Sanjay”, I was the classmate of “Shalini” in school. So, as a friend, I have just done my duty. Take your money back, and go and live happily. Best Wishes!!!
Sanjay: - Look, “Arindam”, you will be given enough money; you just need to do your job.
Arindam: - Can I speak to your wife now?
Sanjay: - Of course, why not.
Arindam: - Well “Shalini”, within a span of 3 months of your marriage, what went wrong suddenly?
Shalini: - “Arindam”, the problem is not me; it’s my father “Subburaj”. I also get to know that, he is not a government employee, he is a street beggar. He begs every day, in the streets, far away from our locality, and earns money. “Sanjay” came to know about my father, and his family do not want me as his housewife, due to some ‘status’ problem in the society.
Arindam: - Oh, that is why, your father “Subburaj” is also present here. Well, “Sir”, can you please clarify to us, why suddenly you choose this “Begging” as your profession, and how much do you earn.
Subburaj: - In a city like “Mumbai”, you will earn at least Rs. 700 – Rs.1000/- per day. Then, if you can earn that amount, by only begging, without any hard work, why not go for that profession. Today, what will you do with your “Status”, if you do not have money to feed yourself twice a day?
Arindam: - My goodness, you are feeling happy and proud to be a beggar. Uff, that sounds horrible. Ok, if you are so proud of your profession, then why you have not told to anyone, even to your own family members also.
Subburaj: - If I would have told that, no one would have accepted my daughter in good modern schools and colleges. Today, my daughter is a “HR Manager” of a reputed company. I am proud of my daughter. My earnings through begging, has proved to be a fruitful one.
Arindam:- But, what will happen now, if this case goes to the High Court or Media, it will be disclosed, and your daughter will be in trouble.
Subburaj:- I don’t know, Arindam, but , I only know that I begged throughout my life as a beggar, to prevent my daughter to become a beggar like me.
Arindam: - Wow, that’s great boss. Ei Shalini, you should be proud of your father. He is your real fantastic father, yaar. Forget this idiot “Sanjay”. If he wants a divorce, you accept it. I will marry you after that.
Sanjay:-Just hang on, “Arindam”; I want to take the correct decision. Give me some time.
Shalini: - You have only 5 minutes time to take the correct decision. Otherwise, I will have no option, other than to marry “Arindam”.
Sanjay: - Ok, done, I don’t want a divorce.
Arindam: - Hurrah!, my operation is successful. This is a “Dismissed Divorce Case”now. Let me tell you one thing, “Sanjay”, I was the classmate of “Shalini” in school. So, as a friend, I have just done my duty. Take your money back, and go and live happily. Best Wishes!!!
EGOISTIC DRAMA
“So, how are you”, asked “Rekha” to “Jaya”. “Jaya” said, “I am fine, so, what are you doing here in this hospital.” “Well, I have come here to visit one of my colleague, who is severely injured in an accident”, said “Rekha”.
Jaya: - I am here to take care of my hubby. As you know, since college days, he has only one kidney. Now, that has also got a problem. Now, the doctors are of the opinion that, his entire body can collapse within this week.
Rekha: - What the hell are you saying? Can’t you take care of your “Arindam”? You are just a useless wife.
Jaya: - Mind your language, Rekha. If you were a good wife of him, then why have you divorced?
Rekha: - Because, there was some ego problem, between us. He used to interfere in my jobs. I hate that thing.
Jaya: - Go to hell with your ego. For that egoistic character, you don’t know how to compromise. That is why; I am his ideal wife, because I know how to tackle my hubby. After getting divorced, you are yet to get any man in your life.
Rekha: - Look Jaya, at least I am happier than you. Because, I am now the No. 1 actress in the Film Industry. But, after your marriage with “Arindam”, you have doomed your career.
Jaya: - Maybe, but, as a woman, I am more satisfied than you. When you stand in front of the mirror, you have almost nothing in your couch, except those false praises from your viewers and film directors.
Rekha: - Do not forget that, it was me, who introduced you with “Arindam”, and that was really a blunder. But, I still love “Arindam”. So, if I find him dead, I will murder you boss.
Jaya: - What can I do here? My blood group does not match to Arindam’s blood group. I cannot donate my kidney to him.
Rekha: - He he he, but this egoistic lady cannot let him die, dear. I still repent, due to my egoistic nature. Here, God has given me one chance to show my love towards him once again. Tomorrow is his birthday, naah. Hmm, I will give him one precious gift. You just keep on guessing.
The very next day, “Rekha” donated her kidney to “Arindam”, and he was saved.“Arindam” said to “Rekha” and “Jaya”, “Boss, now I want to stop these “Egoistic Drama”,and from now on, I want both of you as my wives. Do you all agree to that?”“Jaya” hugged “Rekha” with tears in her eyes and said, “I agree”.
Jaya: - I am here to take care of my hubby. As you know, since college days, he has only one kidney. Now, that has also got a problem. Now, the doctors are of the opinion that, his entire body can collapse within this week.
Rekha: - What the hell are you saying? Can’t you take care of your “Arindam”? You are just a useless wife.
Jaya: - Mind your language, Rekha. If you were a good wife of him, then why have you divorced?
Rekha: - Because, there was some ego problem, between us. He used to interfere in my jobs. I hate that thing.
Jaya: - Go to hell with your ego. For that egoistic character, you don’t know how to compromise. That is why; I am his ideal wife, because I know how to tackle my hubby. After getting divorced, you are yet to get any man in your life.
Rekha: - Look Jaya, at least I am happier than you. Because, I am now the No. 1 actress in the Film Industry. But, after your marriage with “Arindam”, you have doomed your career.
Jaya: - Maybe, but, as a woman, I am more satisfied than you. When you stand in front of the mirror, you have almost nothing in your couch, except those false praises from your viewers and film directors.
Rekha: - Do not forget that, it was me, who introduced you with “Arindam”, and that was really a blunder. But, I still love “Arindam”. So, if I find him dead, I will murder you boss.
Jaya: - What can I do here? My blood group does not match to Arindam’s blood group. I cannot donate my kidney to him.
Rekha: - He he he, but this egoistic lady cannot let him die, dear. I still repent, due to my egoistic nature. Here, God has given me one chance to show my love towards him once again. Tomorrow is his birthday, naah. Hmm, I will give him one precious gift. You just keep on guessing.
The very next day, “Rekha” donated her kidney to “Arindam”, and he was saved.“Arindam” said to “Rekha” and “Jaya”, “Boss, now I want to stop these “Egoistic Drama”,and from now on, I want both of you as my wives. Do you all agree to that?”“Jaya” hugged “Rekha” with tears in her eyes and said, “I agree”.
EVEN GODS ARE CONFUSED
“Hello Everybody, I am “Harsha Bhogle” starting the program “World Prime Time”. Today, we have in our studio, all the top “Gods” of the world. “Lord Brahma”, “Muhammad – The Prophet”, “Jesus”, “Buddha” and “Guru Nanak”.
Harsha: - Dear Gods, today we are here to do a “Group Discussion” on “Global Terrorism”. First, I want to ask, “Muhammad”, that, why there is so much violence in this world, and why majority of people from your team are involved in this.
Muhammad: - Actually, I have never told them to do all those bloody violence. They are probably misguided by some sections of our community. But, that does not mean, my team is bad. Even, moon has a black spot. Our Team Members have become violent, due to the pinching effect, given by the team members of “Jesus”.
Jesus: - Yes, I agree to that. One of my team members “Bush” is an idiot. At least, now I have faith in my new team member “Obama”. I hope, “Muhammad”, you will not experience any trouble, unless your team member “Osama” does something wrong to us. “Brahma”, what the hell you have done to combat terrorism.
Brahma: - Wow, that is a good question “Jesus”. Actually, I have a strategic structure, to combat terrorism. We have lots of “Full Life Cycle Lords” (FLCLs), having their own “Full Life Cycle Bhakthis” (FLCBs) for their team members, to spread the mankind. Our famous FLCLs are Lord “Rama”, Lord “Shiva”, Lord “Krishna” and many more. We also have lady FLCLs like “Durga”, “Kali” and “Vaishnavi”, etc.
Guru Nanak: - Great work done, “Brahma”, probably; you need an appraisal for that. Our “Sardars” are always ready to go for “Strategic Alliance” with you. Already, we have put forward the proposal to become partners of your FLCBs.
Buddha: - I could have also joined you, “Brahma”, but these Chinese and Japanese are the board members. They will never approve the “Peace” bill. Actually, “China” is a very bad FLCB for me. All the FLCLs of “China” are following “Communism”. That is a major challenge for me. “Japanese” were good, but they became violent due to the nuclear bombings by the team members of “Jesus”.
Jesus: - Oho, “Buddha”, I apologize for my foolish team members. But, now let us have a peace treaty.
Muhammad: - Of course, we should go for a peace treaty. But, let me tell you all, one thing, I have just created my team members, but I have no control on their action items. So, I cannot guarantee you all 100% peace.
Brahma: - Don’t worry, “Muhammad”, if you give us the “Green” signals, then I can prepare a special task force for your “Bad Team Members”. That special task force will be headed by our famous fire fighter FLCL “Yamraaj”.
Muhammad: - Ok, I give you the “Green” signals, but on one condition, my innocent people should lead a happy life.
Brahma: - Ok, agreed. Thanks for your support, in this regard.
Buddha: - We are really confused, about this mankind. What will happen to this world, if they go for this kind of terrorism?
Brahma: - We have to destroy this planet “World”, and then we will again create its 2nd version, with lots of “Anti-virus” software installed in it.All the Gods agreed to the proposal, but they are still confused. “Bhagbaan Paresaan, toh kya kare Insaan”.
Harsha: - Dear Gods, today we are here to do a “Group Discussion” on “Global Terrorism”. First, I want to ask, “Muhammad”, that, why there is so much violence in this world, and why majority of people from your team are involved in this.
Muhammad: - Actually, I have never told them to do all those bloody violence. They are probably misguided by some sections of our community. But, that does not mean, my team is bad. Even, moon has a black spot. Our Team Members have become violent, due to the pinching effect, given by the team members of “Jesus”.
Jesus: - Yes, I agree to that. One of my team members “Bush” is an idiot. At least, now I have faith in my new team member “Obama”. I hope, “Muhammad”, you will not experience any trouble, unless your team member “Osama” does something wrong to us. “Brahma”, what the hell you have done to combat terrorism.
Brahma: - Wow, that is a good question “Jesus”. Actually, I have a strategic structure, to combat terrorism. We have lots of “Full Life Cycle Lords” (FLCLs), having their own “Full Life Cycle Bhakthis” (FLCBs) for their team members, to spread the mankind. Our famous FLCLs are Lord “Rama”, Lord “Shiva”, Lord “Krishna” and many more. We also have lady FLCLs like “Durga”, “Kali” and “Vaishnavi”, etc.
Guru Nanak: - Great work done, “Brahma”, probably; you need an appraisal for that. Our “Sardars” are always ready to go for “Strategic Alliance” with you. Already, we have put forward the proposal to become partners of your FLCBs.
Buddha: - I could have also joined you, “Brahma”, but these Chinese and Japanese are the board members. They will never approve the “Peace” bill. Actually, “China” is a very bad FLCB for me. All the FLCLs of “China” are following “Communism”. That is a major challenge for me. “Japanese” were good, but they became violent due to the nuclear bombings by the team members of “Jesus”.
Jesus: - Oho, “Buddha”, I apologize for my foolish team members. But, now let us have a peace treaty.
Muhammad: - Of course, we should go for a peace treaty. But, let me tell you all, one thing, I have just created my team members, but I have no control on their action items. So, I cannot guarantee you all 100% peace.
Brahma: - Don’t worry, “Muhammad”, if you give us the “Green” signals, then I can prepare a special task force for your “Bad Team Members”. That special task force will be headed by our famous fire fighter FLCL “Yamraaj”.
Muhammad: - Ok, I give you the “Green” signals, but on one condition, my innocent people should lead a happy life.
Brahma: - Ok, agreed. Thanks for your support, in this regard.
Buddha: - We are really confused, about this mankind. What will happen to this world, if they go for this kind of terrorism?
Brahma: - We have to destroy this planet “World”, and then we will again create its 2nd version, with lots of “Anti-virus” software installed in it.All the Gods agreed to the proposal, but they are still confused. “Bhagbaan Paresaan, toh kya kare Insaan”.
SOCIAL ANIMAL
“Ei, “Moti”, what happened, today, I am barking at you, but you are not quarrelling with me, tonight? What happened boss? barked “Tommy”. “Moti” said, “As I am a street dog, nobody loves me. Each and every human being always gives me a scolding. You are so lucky, that you are a British Bull Dog. You get too much love from the humans, because you are a pet dog of “Mr. Ashok Ganjawala”, the famous businessman of Hyderabad.”
Tommy: - My dear Moti, you totally have a very wrong perception.
Moti: - What kind of wrong perception. You are getting good healthy foods. Always, someone or the other loves you. But, look at me. I have to eat the shits in the streets, or I have to search for foods in the garbage. I have no fixed bedroom. The entire street is my house, as I am the Street Dog.
Tommy: - Ha Ha Ha!, boss Moti, basically, it is always the “Other side is more Greener” illusion, which you are having right now.
Moti: - Can you please explain it in details?
Tommy: - See, the servants of this house takes care of me and they loves me more, rather than my master “Ashok Ganjawala”. And, frankly, speaking, I am in a jail. I cannot roam or travel like you, anywhere I wish. Only, I go to the park, in the morning, to do some potty, and morning walk, with my master.
Moti: - But, still you are getting the love and affection from them, naah.
Tommy: - Oho, you are expecting love from those humans, who are hungry for love, dear. This “Ashok”, despite having so much money and prestige, every day, he fights with his beloved wife “Rima”. Both, husband and wife have extra-marital affairs, but still they are unhappy. Already, their elder daughter “Minisha” fled away with a poor boy, with some censored scandals.
Moti: - Oh, my goodness.
Tommy: - Their younger daughter “Seema”, is already suffering from mental disorders, due to their every day fights. After consulting with the doctor, she has been kept in the Girls Mental Hostel, from where she is doing her studies. And, what to say, about their only son “Arindam”. He deserves the title “Ganjawala”, as he is always in and out of the jail, every month, due to his drug addictions.
Moti: - Baap re baap, at least, we are more happy and better than these humans.
Tommy: - Yes, of course, but remember one thing, humans are also a kind of animal, specially termed as “SOCIAL ANIMAL”.
Tommy: - My dear Moti, you totally have a very wrong perception.
Moti: - What kind of wrong perception. You are getting good healthy foods. Always, someone or the other loves you. But, look at me. I have to eat the shits in the streets, or I have to search for foods in the garbage. I have no fixed bedroom. The entire street is my house, as I am the Street Dog.
Tommy: - Ha Ha Ha!, boss Moti, basically, it is always the “Other side is more Greener” illusion, which you are having right now.
Moti: - Can you please explain it in details?
Tommy: - See, the servants of this house takes care of me and they loves me more, rather than my master “Ashok Ganjawala”. And, frankly, speaking, I am in a jail. I cannot roam or travel like you, anywhere I wish. Only, I go to the park, in the morning, to do some potty, and morning walk, with my master.
Moti: - But, still you are getting the love and affection from them, naah.
Tommy: - Oho, you are expecting love from those humans, who are hungry for love, dear. This “Ashok”, despite having so much money and prestige, every day, he fights with his beloved wife “Rima”. Both, husband and wife have extra-marital affairs, but still they are unhappy. Already, their elder daughter “Minisha” fled away with a poor boy, with some censored scandals.
Moti: - Oh, my goodness.
Tommy: - Their younger daughter “Seema”, is already suffering from mental disorders, due to their every day fights. After consulting with the doctor, she has been kept in the Girls Mental Hostel, from where she is doing her studies. And, what to say, about their only son “Arindam”. He deserves the title “Ganjawala”, as he is always in and out of the jail, every month, due to his drug addictions.
Moti: - Baap re baap, at least, we are more happy and better than these humans.
Tommy: - Yes, of course, but remember one thing, humans are also a kind of animal, specially termed as “SOCIAL ANIMAL”.
FRENCH RED WINE WITH GRILLED CHICKEN
“Uff, every weekend, we are getting bored of drinking either whisky, rum or beer”, I said to both Prady and Baccha.
Prady then suggested, “Can we try out “Red Wine”, one day”?
Baccha said, “Oh! It is too expensive, boss”. We then convinced him, that, it is for doing the experimentation. If it’s a success, then we will go for it once in every month, otherwise, it will not be considered. Baccha agreed.Then our “Wine” operation started. We started searching for the wine shop, where we can get the “French Red Wine”.
“Oi toh, there is a wine shop, beside “Lamsa Tea”, I shouted, while we were walking towards Secundrabad station, from Paradise Circle. We bought the “French Red Wine”, at Rs. 790/-. The bottle contains 750 ml.Baccha said, “Hmm, but we don’t have those special wine glasses”. “Don’t worry yaar! We will drink in plastic glasses only”, confirmed Prady, and we bought 3 plastic glasses, each of 1 rupee. “Ei, what will be our chaat, boss?” I asked them. They happily said that they will take 2 full plates of “Chicken Tandoori” from Alpha Hotel of Secundrabad.
We came home with that wine bottle and Tandoori Chicken. But, alas, more surprises were waiting for us. Somesh, our roommate told us, “Oho, I forgot to tell you people one thing, that, this wine bottle cannot be opened by ordinary opener. You need to have a separate “Cork-opener” to open this wine bottle. At that time, it was 11.30 PM. We tried to open the cork, by using screw drivers, scissors and needle, but failed to open it.That night, was a sorrowful night for us. We slept, by eating only the Chicken Tandoori, and keeping the wine bottle in a separate place.
The next weekend, we were again all charged up and excited. We started searching for that “Cork-opener” everywhere. But all in vain, neither it was in any hardware shop of Paradise circle, nor in the Munna market. It was Prady, who searched and found that. He went to “Big Bazaar” of Ameerpet, but it was not there. Then, he searched it, in some hardware stores, near one Gurudwara in Ameerpet, and got it at the price of Rs. 250/-.When, we received the news, that we have got the cork-opener, we were very excited.
At least, on this night, we will enjoy the red wine. But, on that night, we decided to change our chaat. We went to Alpha Hotel, and asked the Manager, “Accha, what is the difference between ‘Grilled Chicken’ and ‘Tandoori Chicken’?” The manager said, that, “Grilled Chicken is done in an electrical oven, where meat is more, and it is not that actual moghlai type, where it is burnt in a moghlai oven”. Anyway, to experiment grilled chicken, we bought it.
At last, we had a fabulous “Sharaabi Night”. We opened the cork, with that special opener. Everyone was so excited. But, boss, the amount of Grilled chicken, was too much for our stomach.But, the wine was superb. After 2 pegs, we really enjoyed the drink. The chicken, the cigarette, the darkness of the night, and the quarrels of the program “MTV Roadies 6.0”, all made a perfect combination to transform you as a “Modern Drunkard”.Why are you waiting for me to tell you, “That have some “French Red Wine” with “Grilled Chicken”.Just go and have it, in this weekend, boss. Best of Luck!!! “.
Prady then suggested, “Can we try out “Red Wine”, one day”?
Baccha said, “Oh! It is too expensive, boss”. We then convinced him, that, it is for doing the experimentation. If it’s a success, then we will go for it once in every month, otherwise, it will not be considered. Baccha agreed.Then our “Wine” operation started. We started searching for the wine shop, where we can get the “French Red Wine”.
“Oi toh, there is a wine shop, beside “Lamsa Tea”, I shouted, while we were walking towards Secundrabad station, from Paradise Circle. We bought the “French Red Wine”, at Rs. 790/-. The bottle contains 750 ml.Baccha said, “Hmm, but we don’t have those special wine glasses”. “Don’t worry yaar! We will drink in plastic glasses only”, confirmed Prady, and we bought 3 plastic glasses, each of 1 rupee. “Ei, what will be our chaat, boss?” I asked them. They happily said that they will take 2 full plates of “Chicken Tandoori” from Alpha Hotel of Secundrabad.
We came home with that wine bottle and Tandoori Chicken. But, alas, more surprises were waiting for us. Somesh, our roommate told us, “Oho, I forgot to tell you people one thing, that, this wine bottle cannot be opened by ordinary opener. You need to have a separate “Cork-opener” to open this wine bottle. At that time, it was 11.30 PM. We tried to open the cork, by using screw drivers, scissors and needle, but failed to open it.That night, was a sorrowful night for us. We slept, by eating only the Chicken Tandoori, and keeping the wine bottle in a separate place.
The next weekend, we were again all charged up and excited. We started searching for that “Cork-opener” everywhere. But all in vain, neither it was in any hardware shop of Paradise circle, nor in the Munna market. It was Prady, who searched and found that. He went to “Big Bazaar” of Ameerpet, but it was not there. Then, he searched it, in some hardware stores, near one Gurudwara in Ameerpet, and got it at the price of Rs. 250/-.When, we received the news, that we have got the cork-opener, we were very excited.
At least, on this night, we will enjoy the red wine. But, on that night, we decided to change our chaat. We went to Alpha Hotel, and asked the Manager, “Accha, what is the difference between ‘Grilled Chicken’ and ‘Tandoori Chicken’?” The manager said, that, “Grilled Chicken is done in an electrical oven, where meat is more, and it is not that actual moghlai type, where it is burnt in a moghlai oven”. Anyway, to experiment grilled chicken, we bought it.
At last, we had a fabulous “Sharaabi Night”. We opened the cork, with that special opener. Everyone was so excited. But, boss, the amount of Grilled chicken, was too much for our stomach.But, the wine was superb. After 2 pegs, we really enjoyed the drink. The chicken, the cigarette, the darkness of the night, and the quarrels of the program “MTV Roadies 6.0”, all made a perfect combination to transform you as a “Modern Drunkard”.Why are you waiting for me to tell you, “That have some “French Red Wine” with “Grilled Chicken”.Just go and have it, in this weekend, boss. Best of Luck!!! “.
THE KALYUG JUNGLE
“Oh! Grandpa, please tell me a story, I am feeling bored in this rainy day afternoon, at my house”, requested little Pinky. Now, Grandpa started his story with a hookah in his hand.Once upon a time, there was a jungle known as “KALYUG” in Madhya Pradesh border near Gujarat.
It was the fourth largest jungle at that time. The animals were very happy; the jungle was full of resources.The King was the “LION”, with Prime Minister “ELEPHANT”, Security Head “RHINO” and the finance minister “JACKAL”. The Administrative members comprised of “TIGER” and “SNAKE”. All the other were just the part of the jungle.For many years, the jungle had no problems; it had plenty of resources and foods for their animals.
But suddenly, nature became rude to them. Depression, Storms, Hurricanes, all came one by one, to hit them badly. But, still the jungle survived. The “LION” declared that, we have more than enough foods, which other jungles do not have. The animals were happy and proud about their king.Nearby that “KALYUG” jungle, there was another jungle known as “TABAAHI” jungles, which were ruled by the “BISON” and “HYENA”. They approached the “LION” to take their territory under him, so that the both jungle areas get merged into another big jungle. But, the topography and psychology of both jungles were totally different, which will create a great problem. That is why, the “TIGER” roared and “SNAKE” hissed.But, still “LION” acquired the “TABAAHI” jungle. Now, the Forest Regulatory Head the “HANUMAN” strongly objected this action, and sent the “DOG” to investigate the matter.
Ultimately, “LION” called off the acquisition of “TABAAHI” jungle.“DOG” is very clever to chase the “TIGER” and “SNAKE”. To tackle the “SNAKE” the dog took the help of a “Forest Officer” and ultimately caught the “SNAKE”. The “SNAKE” came out of the jungle to locality. Soon after, a week, the “TIGER” roared that, there is not enough food in the reserves, which the “LION” has announced. Unfortunately “HANUMAN” got that news. He appointed the “CHEETAH” to force the “LION” in such a manner, that “LION” quits the jungle.
Ultimately, “LION” told the animals, that there is not enough food in the jungle to feed you animals. As a fraud king, he quits the jungle. “TIGER” was already taken in the ZOO cage. “ELEPHANT” also left the jungle. “RHINO” took the charge of the jungle.“DOG” now chased the “JACKAL”, but “HANUMAN” told him to stop, unless they get the order from the “FOREST OFFICER”. They got the permission, but, “JACKAL” left the jungle.
Ultimately, the jungle was totally devastated.“Then, what happened to those animals, Grandpa?” asked little Pinky.Grandpa said, “The “KALYUG” forest has been converted into a fantastic wildlife sanctuary, known as “RAMCHANDRAPUR” by the efforts of “FOREST OFFICER ‘RAM’” and “HANUMAN”.
It was the fourth largest jungle at that time. The animals were very happy; the jungle was full of resources.The King was the “LION”, with Prime Minister “ELEPHANT”, Security Head “RHINO” and the finance minister “JACKAL”. The Administrative members comprised of “TIGER” and “SNAKE”. All the other were just the part of the jungle.For many years, the jungle had no problems; it had plenty of resources and foods for their animals.
But suddenly, nature became rude to them. Depression, Storms, Hurricanes, all came one by one, to hit them badly. But, still the jungle survived. The “LION” declared that, we have more than enough foods, which other jungles do not have. The animals were happy and proud about their king.Nearby that “KALYUG” jungle, there was another jungle known as “TABAAHI” jungles, which were ruled by the “BISON” and “HYENA”. They approached the “LION” to take their territory under him, so that the both jungle areas get merged into another big jungle. But, the topography and psychology of both jungles were totally different, which will create a great problem. That is why, the “TIGER” roared and “SNAKE” hissed.But, still “LION” acquired the “TABAAHI” jungle. Now, the Forest Regulatory Head the “HANUMAN” strongly objected this action, and sent the “DOG” to investigate the matter.
Ultimately, “LION” called off the acquisition of “TABAAHI” jungle.“DOG” is very clever to chase the “TIGER” and “SNAKE”. To tackle the “SNAKE” the dog took the help of a “Forest Officer” and ultimately caught the “SNAKE”. The “SNAKE” came out of the jungle to locality. Soon after, a week, the “TIGER” roared that, there is not enough food in the reserves, which the “LION” has announced. Unfortunately “HANUMAN” got that news. He appointed the “CHEETAH” to force the “LION” in such a manner, that “LION” quits the jungle.
Ultimately, “LION” told the animals, that there is not enough food in the jungle to feed you animals. As a fraud king, he quits the jungle. “TIGER” was already taken in the ZOO cage. “ELEPHANT” also left the jungle. “RHINO” took the charge of the jungle.“DOG” now chased the “JACKAL”, but “HANUMAN” told him to stop, unless they get the order from the “FOREST OFFICER”. They got the permission, but, “JACKAL” left the jungle.
Ultimately, the jungle was totally devastated.“Then, what happened to those animals, Grandpa?” asked little Pinky.Grandpa said, “The “KALYUG” forest has been converted into a fantastic wildlife sanctuary, known as “RAMCHANDRAPUR” by the efforts of “FOREST OFFICER ‘RAM’” and “HANUMAN”.
SHANKAR'S SANIA
"Papa, one day, I will rule over this ocean",said Shankar to his father. His father was the captain of the ship. Later, when Shankar grew up, he created his own ship named as "Sania", in the name of his beloved wife.On a fantastic day of "Makar Sankranti", the "Sania"sailed into the ocean.
The passengers were happy, business was going well.But, there was a problem, the straight cut route they take to reach the destination, is a dangerous route, because every now and then, there is Hurricane storm. The fear of that storm, led to less passengers in the ship.Shankar changed his strategy. He started exploring the other alternative routes to reach the destination.
"Wow !, I have explored another route", said Shankar.The ship started its journey in that route. But, there are big rulers of that route. The whales and sharks, came into an agreement with Shankar, that your employees should feed us quality fishes, while your "Sania" is sailing in our route. So, Shankar deployed some good fishing ships and employees to feed the whales and the sharks.After few months, "Sania" has a competitor "The Cruise". They are also going by the same route, and attracting more passengers. So, now Shankar made an agreement with the "Pirates of the Caribbean", who will always attack "The Cruise",and they will get money from the "Sania" company.
Soon after an accounting year, a big ship named "Titanic" sank into the sea, in the same route. The passengers literally stopped travelling by any ship. The "Ship Industry"is in the mess. Shankar is now having losses. But, still he did the "Window Dressing"that , "Sania" is faring well. So, it attracted and retained some good passengers of that ship.But, in a loss scenario, Shankar took cost cutting measures by removing the fishing ships and he stopped paying the "Pirates of the Caribbean".
Then, on a special "Wednesday", "Sania" was attacked by the whales and pirates. Shankar was totally devastated."But what will happen to the passengers and the ship employees ?" - The Media asked. Then "The Cruise" came in to the picture and said "We will acquire the "Shankar's Sania", for the sake of those ship employees".Shankar could have ruled the ocean, if there would have been no "Cost Cutting"measures. He looked at the sky and told to his father "You were right papa, a captain cannot become a good corporate politician, and a good ruler needs to learn the basic politics".
The passengers were happy, business was going well.But, there was a problem, the straight cut route they take to reach the destination, is a dangerous route, because every now and then, there is Hurricane storm. The fear of that storm, led to less passengers in the ship.Shankar changed his strategy. He started exploring the other alternative routes to reach the destination.
"Wow !, I have explored another route", said Shankar.The ship started its journey in that route. But, there are big rulers of that route. The whales and sharks, came into an agreement with Shankar, that your employees should feed us quality fishes, while your "Sania" is sailing in our route. So, Shankar deployed some good fishing ships and employees to feed the whales and the sharks.After few months, "Sania" has a competitor "The Cruise". They are also going by the same route, and attracting more passengers. So, now Shankar made an agreement with the "Pirates of the Caribbean", who will always attack "The Cruise",and they will get money from the "Sania" company.
Soon after an accounting year, a big ship named "Titanic" sank into the sea, in the same route. The passengers literally stopped travelling by any ship. The "Ship Industry"is in the mess. Shankar is now having losses. But, still he did the "Window Dressing"that , "Sania" is faring well. So, it attracted and retained some good passengers of that ship.But, in a loss scenario, Shankar took cost cutting measures by removing the fishing ships and he stopped paying the "Pirates of the Caribbean".
Then, on a special "Wednesday", "Sania" was attacked by the whales and pirates. Shankar was totally devastated."But what will happen to the passengers and the ship employees ?" - The Media asked. Then "The Cruise" came in to the picture and said "We will acquire the "Shankar's Sania", for the sake of those ship employees".Shankar could have ruled the ocean, if there would have been no "Cost Cutting"measures. He looked at the sky and told to his father "You were right papa, a captain cannot become a good corporate politician, and a good ruler needs to learn the basic politics".
PATIBUNIA POND
“The fishing is not allowed in this Pond, Maharaja”, said Manu, the local boy. The Maharaja asked the reason. Manu said it is a long story, Your Highness. People worship this pond.
Manu started telling the whole story:-“Once upon a time, the “Patibunia Pond” was under the control of the Zamindar “Bishnu Mullick”. At that time, no fishing was allowed in this pond. All the fishes were very happy. Bishnu was married to “Raima Ganguly”, the girl of another zamindar “Bhadraprasad Ganguly”.One day, the brother-in-law of Bishnu, the “Rajendra Ganguly”, visited Patibunia. He liked the entire property and place. But, somehow, he was having some idea on his head, after seeing that pond.Rajendra said to Bishnu, “Accha, Jamai Babu, why don’t you go for fishing this pond, every week. There are lots of fishes in this pond. By selling those fishes, we can earn money. When you can earn money, only by fishing 4 days a month, then why not go for that”. Bishnu agreed to that.
“Mini” is the lovely pussy cat of Raima. She does not eat fish, as per her habit. She always eats meat or bones, as provided by the house maids. When she was at Bijoypur, she had lots of friends to play with. But here she is alone. But, whenever she goes near that pond, there is one fish known as “Sharmila”, who is visible.
After few days, they both became good friends. Mini was so happy. She told all about her friendship to Raima also. Raima was also happy that Mini has got a new friend.After 1 year also, both Raima and Bishnu was having no children. Doctors were consulted and many check –ups were done, but of no use. Raima was very disappointed, by hearing, that there is no chance for her to become a mother, as Bishnu has some internal problems.
In that year only, suddenly “Mainak” got caught in the fishing nets. Mainak is the lover of Sharmila. Sharmila, started crying in front of Mini, and wanted her help. Sharmila said, “If you can help me, to get back my lover Mainak in this pond again, then I will help Bishnu, to become a father”. Mini soon addressed this information to Raima. Raima ordered to release Mainak into the pond.In the next morning, Bishnu went near the pond. Sharmila gave three fish eggs on the lotus leaf. Sharmila said, “Sir, Just eat those eggs, by mixing it with the cow’s milk and tonight will be your memorable night”. Bishnu followed her instructions.
After nine months, Patibunia was celebrating because Raima gave birth to a baby boy named as “Aryan”. Mini now requested Bishnu, to stop fishing at that pond. You must be grateful to Sharmila.Bishnu declared, “From today onwards, there will be no fishing in that pond, because there are true lovers in that pond. Where there are true lovers, there exists GOD. So, do not dare to disturb them.”Manu ended his story. Maharaja Said, “Thanks Manu, you saved me from committing a sin”Manu said, “If you give Love to someone, it will surely come back to you with the added compounding interest. Today, something good will happen to your house. Best of Luck!!!
Manu started telling the whole story:-“Once upon a time, the “Patibunia Pond” was under the control of the Zamindar “Bishnu Mullick”. At that time, no fishing was allowed in this pond. All the fishes were very happy. Bishnu was married to “Raima Ganguly”, the girl of another zamindar “Bhadraprasad Ganguly”.One day, the brother-in-law of Bishnu, the “Rajendra Ganguly”, visited Patibunia. He liked the entire property and place. But, somehow, he was having some idea on his head, after seeing that pond.Rajendra said to Bishnu, “Accha, Jamai Babu, why don’t you go for fishing this pond, every week. There are lots of fishes in this pond. By selling those fishes, we can earn money. When you can earn money, only by fishing 4 days a month, then why not go for that”. Bishnu agreed to that.
“Mini” is the lovely pussy cat of Raima. She does not eat fish, as per her habit. She always eats meat or bones, as provided by the house maids. When she was at Bijoypur, she had lots of friends to play with. But here she is alone. But, whenever she goes near that pond, there is one fish known as “Sharmila”, who is visible.
After few days, they both became good friends. Mini was so happy. She told all about her friendship to Raima also. Raima was also happy that Mini has got a new friend.After 1 year also, both Raima and Bishnu was having no children. Doctors were consulted and many check –ups were done, but of no use. Raima was very disappointed, by hearing, that there is no chance for her to become a mother, as Bishnu has some internal problems.
In that year only, suddenly “Mainak” got caught in the fishing nets. Mainak is the lover of Sharmila. Sharmila, started crying in front of Mini, and wanted her help. Sharmila said, “If you can help me, to get back my lover Mainak in this pond again, then I will help Bishnu, to become a father”. Mini soon addressed this information to Raima. Raima ordered to release Mainak into the pond.In the next morning, Bishnu went near the pond. Sharmila gave three fish eggs on the lotus leaf. Sharmila said, “Sir, Just eat those eggs, by mixing it with the cow’s milk and tonight will be your memorable night”. Bishnu followed her instructions.
After nine months, Patibunia was celebrating because Raima gave birth to a baby boy named as “Aryan”. Mini now requested Bishnu, to stop fishing at that pond. You must be grateful to Sharmila.Bishnu declared, “From today onwards, there will be no fishing in that pond, because there are true lovers in that pond. Where there are true lovers, there exists GOD. So, do not dare to disturb them.”Manu ended his story. Maharaja Said, “Thanks Manu, you saved me from committing a sin”Manu said, “If you give Love to someone, it will surely come back to you with the added compounding interest. Today, something good will happen to your house. Best of Luck!!!
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