DOGGESS DIANA

Shaili: - Hello viewers, I am Shaili and you are watching your favorite show ‘Animal Interview’ on Royal Bengal Tiger (RBT) TV Channel. Today, we are in Secunderabad and we will interview the famous doggess of this area, whose name is Diana. Hi, Diana, how are you?

Diana: - Oho, you are Shaili, right.I am fine, dear. I am just searching for my babies. Last month only, I gave birth to six little puppies. Out of them, 2 puppies have died. It is a very tough job for a doggess, when she becomes a mother.

Shaili: - Yeah, yeah, I understand that. However, in your dog community, dogesses give birth to several puppies. Now, it is not feasible that all the puppies will be alive. Some of them have to die.

Diana: - Oh, yeah, you are right. That is why, we, the doggess give birth to many puppies.

Shaili: - By the way, who is your hubby?

Diana: - Uff, Shaili, it is an invalid question. In our dog community, we, doggess don’t have any fixed hubby. Any male dog can access me, provided he knows all the arts and cultures of doing romantic intimacies with a female dog.

Shaili: - What are you saying, Diana? You people don’t even know how to use caps? You will suffer from AIDS, dear.

Diana: - Ha ha ha…What a joke, Shaili. See, no one in the Dog community has ever eaten the meat of Rhesus monkey in Africa, and that is the reason, none of our ancestors have ever been contaminated with HIV diseases. As a net result, any male dog can enjoy any female dog, without any fear.

Shaili: - Wow, your dog community is very lucky in this regard. Accha, in your locality, there is an old lady, who always loves you and considers you as your daughter.

Diana: - Hmm, you are talking about that old lady, who is mentally ill. Her name is Kanta. She lost her hubby, when her daughter Laxmi was 12 years old. Later, she took care of her child. Laxmi got married to a Kirana shop owner. Later, during pregnancy, Laxmi died due to some medical complications. After losing her daughter, Kanta became mentally ill. No one cares for her. She sleeps on that street only. Begging is her only profession now. One day, I saw her in a bad condition under an electric lamp post of our locality, where she was shivering due to high fever. I barked at her; I got no response. Then, nearby, there is a Doctors Chamber, where Dr. Bilas Rao sits. I started barking in front of his chamber for 15 minutes. Later, Dr. Bilas Rao understood why I am barking and he followed me. He cured Kanta, without taking any fees from her. In Secunderabad, Doctors never take fees for doing treatment of poor people. After that day, Kanta started loving me like a mother. She regards me as her daughter. Every day, she will hug me. She tells me, ‘You are my daughter Laxmi only, who has taken re-birth as a female dog’. I am a doggess, but I also have tears in my eyes, when I hear those things. You have a special power to understand any language of animals, which is why, you understand my words, but normal humans don’t understand me.

Shaili: - Accha, who gave your name as Diana?

Diana: - Actually, I also don’t know my name. We don’t have any naming system in our dog community. It is the humans only, who call us by some names. There is a boy in our locality, who is tall, handsome and has a goonda-type aggressive character. His name is Arindam. He gave me the name Diana, as on every weekend, I change my sex partners.

Shaili: - Is it the same Arindam, who writes articles on any topic as a time-pass? If it is so, then maintain a safe distance from him. He is a very naughty boy.

Diana: - Yeah, he is that Arindam only. But, I like his naughtiness. Whenever he comes out of his house, I start barking at him, intentionally. He will then chase me and will say ‘Aayiee, dhorey amon pyadabo naa, gheu gheu kora beriya jaabey’ and I enjoy his Bengali dialogues. I also reply with a romantic bark, ‘Ghooo’, but he does not understand the meaning. I run after him to make him angrier and enjoy playing with him.

Shaili: - So, you are the real security guard of this locality during nights? It is great to meet you, “DOGGESS DIANA.” Viewers, see you later, bye.