WHAT IS TRUE LOVE ???

Sharmistha:- What the hell are you doing in Hyderabad, if you are not working in Satyam Computers? By the way, what kind of articles you are writing nowadays? Chee chee....are you now spending nights with bitches of Hyderabad?

Arindam:- Arrey, just hang on dear. You are just firing missiles at me? Don't go by my blogs, babah...I am now staying with 3 boys only. Is it fine for you?

Sharmistha:- I don't believe you. You are such an unpredictable character...uuh....You are a very bad boy. But, side by side, your heart is very childish in nature. If you murder someone, you will go and tell the policeman that you have done the murder. You are such a fool. There are persons, who are even worse than you in terms of illegal affairs with bitches, but they pretend to be the innocent No. 1 in the corporate world. Those kind of guys always get good promotions and recognitions, because they know acting and politics. But, you such character will always fall behind, because of your simplicity.

Arindam:- Hmm....I can understand what you are trying to say.

Sharmistha:- Why don't you settle down by marrying a sweet girl, rather than spending your life like a dog? Tell me one thing that have you ever experienced true love in your life?

Arindam:- What kind of a funny question is this? Yes, of course, I know what is love.

Sharmistha:- I don't think so. You are such a character who always regarded lust or sexual relationship as love. That is the reason why, your love relations do not last for long. Not only have that; you have also used your ex-girlfriends like a tissue paper and then threw them into the dustbin.

Arindam:- Hey, Sharmistha, mind your language, boss. You are saying too much now. I am a changed man now. At present, I am looking for a traditional girl to get married and settle down.

Sharmistha:- Why are you looking for traditional girls? Is it not because that somewhere in your mind, you have no faith in girls? Because you regard everyone as unfaithful and playboy type like you. A thief always points out others as thieves. The same is with you also. You have a mindset that a traditional, homely girl is more faithful than a corporate, modern girl. That kind of insecurity is there in your mind, because of your naughty past life full of illegal affairs. Now, you boys will fuck us in the sake of love relationship and then you people will only ditch us, by saying that we are unfaithful.

Arindam:- Just stop this discussion, please. I am not interested in talking about these things. Frankly speaking, I just believe in one thing that true love only happens once in a lifetime and the rest of your relations are just based on compromise only. My first love was really a true love. But, yes; my first love was unsuccessful, because it was my destiny only. I learned a lot from that. Later on, all other affairs were more of a lust or time-pass, but not true love. You are giving me lectures today. Have you ever experienced true love? You never had any boyfriend in your life and you are teaching me about love.

Sharmistha:- Ya, I was in love with my private Physics tutor, who was then a married guy and was having a little daughter also. That love was only one-sided. I felt myself that I am totally clean bowled. I was madly in love with him. I always used to dream about my future, where he is always there by my side. But, I never proposed, because in reality, that cannot be a feasible relationship. Here, maybe, it was my destiny. Later on in colleges,many boys proposed me, but somehow, I was unable to love them. They still remain as my good friends only. Some of them have got married too. Still, I remember that Physics tutor. I pray to God, that wherever he is now, let him be happy. That is what true love is. In true love, a person's mentality is not like a dog like you, to just fuck his beloved.

Arindam:- Ha ha ha...uff, you are so excited today. Ok, I will never fuck you. Will you become my girlfriend?

Sharmistha:- Oh! just forget it man. I will regard you as my boyfriend? How can you think about that? And regarding fucking; I will give access to my future hubby only. I am still a virgin.

Arindam:- Ok, I don't want to argue about that. Even if you are not a virgin also, it does not matter. What matters is your attitude towards the concept of marriage. Now, no matter, how bad we the boys are, we will still prefer a girl, who is virgin, traditional and homely. This is the bad habit of every Indian boys. See, somehow, as per our Hindu tradition, wife is like an asset of the family. In a broader sense, she is like 'Ghar ki Laxmi'. That is why, everyone wants to marry a girl, whose character is decent, sober and good. Likewise, a girl, who was a bitch in her school and college days also, always prefer to have a husband, who is loyal, faithful and of good character, because she also regards her hubby as her valuable asset.

Sharmistha:- In this Asset-Liability management, where will you keep the true love? Arindam, dear, just remember one thing, if there is only compromise in a relation, no matter, how much sex you do with your partner, you will never be mentally satisfied. True love teaches you the natural art of sexual desires, which if you perform will give you the mental satisfaction. Sex without true love is like a cake, with no cream and ice on it.

Arindam:- Wow, Sharmistha, you are really a good and intelligent girl, I must appreciate that. Maybe, I am a bad boy, who is unfit to become your partner, but whoever will marry you will be one of the luckiest hubby of the world.

Sharmistha:- You will also get a good girl, provided you understand "WHAT IS TRUE LOVE ?" and you maintain that for your whole life as a faithful hubby. In the meantime, if you come down to Kolkata, then we can surely meet each other and have an adda session. Anyway, my mom is scolding me now. I need to go to sleep, dear. I will chat with you later. Take care and Good Night.

Arindam:- Good Night, Sweetheart. Take Care.

UNEMPLOYED BACHELOR BOYS ARE BECOMING GIGOLOS TO EARN MONEY !!!

David:- My profession is a special one, at present. I am a Gigolo.

Arindam:- Gigolo? What does that mean? I have heard about Google, but what is Gigolo, boss?

Peter:- My goodness, you don't know that? It is the male version of bitchiness. Actually, we satisfy females by our long dicks and earn money for that. This is our profession.

Arindam:- Wow, this is first time I am hearing that women also give money to men for their sexual desires. I don't believe it. See, I am from Kolkata only. After Bangkok, Sonagachi is the 2nd largest brothel of Asia. There, I have seen men spending money for sex with them, but, women are spending on men for sex, do not happen there. Ya, sometimes, in Lake Town area and VIP Road of Kolkata, many business or professional women stops their private cars and give lifts to some young boys. Later on, that young boy gets paid for some special performances. But, still those things are not taken as a profession by those young boys.

David:- But in our Bangalore, it is a very legal and lucrative profession for bachelor boys, who wants to earn money. There are clubs also, where you can get registered. I don't know about Hyderabad.

Salim:- In Hyderabad, there are no registered clubs, where gigolos are recruited. But, still we manage to earn well from posh areas like Jubilee and Banjara Hills. Hey, Arindam, I have heard your name also from some Hyderabadi aunties.

Arindam:- Sorry, I don't want to comment on that. Maybe, you are talking about that rocking year of 2008. But, now this is 2009. Past is past. Now, I need to concentrate on my present. I need a new job.

Peter:- Of course, 2009 is the year of recession in all respects. We also understand that. Hey Arindam, why don't you take this up as your profession. There is nothing to lose here. You, as usual as a bad boy, will get satisfaction and don't worry about the money. Easily, you can earn around 20,000 bucks per month.

Arindam:- My goodness. How can I earn so much money, boss? Who will invest on my dick with such a huge price?

Salim:- You don't have any idea. Our customers are basically from high society. They are all married or unmarried or divorcee business women or homemakers, who are unsatisfied about their sexual life. They are hungry for sex. See, after marriage, if a woman becomes the mother of two or three children, then her hubby lose interest in regular wild sexual inter-course, that they used to do at their early married life. So, there the demand of our young fresh cock increases and we really serve them with the best services.

Arindam:- le halua....I am a bad boy, I agree. But, at least, I am very much skeptical to take this as my profession. Is it legal?

David:- It is legal in India. No where it has been mentioned that you cannot be a gigolo and moreover, it is a lucrative profession. You are unemployed and you will earn money by doing a social work only. There is nothing wrong in it. You are satisfying the sexual desires of a woman, who is hungry for sex.

Arindam:- See the fun, in this recession market; you want to say that "UNEMPLOYED BACHELOR BOYS ARE BECOMING GIGOLOS TO EARN MONEY". This offer is very much tempting for me. But, still, I need some time to think over it and to decide whether to accept this offer or not.

Salim:- Of course, many B-TECH freshers are also accepting this offer. It is a secure job. Why are you taking tension, man?

Peter:- Well, Arindam, just keep my mobile number. Whenever, you will come down to Bangalore, just give me a call, if you are interested in this job.

David:- Arindam, just remember that it is a profession of gain without any systematic risk.

Arindam:- He he he...but the unsystematic risk will be too much for me. Anyway, I will surely call you back. Till then, Good Bye.

A LESBIAN IS IN LOVE WITH A GAY !!!

Arindam:- What are you saying, Lindsay? You are a lesbian?

Lindsay:- Ya, so what? You are from India, that is why, you are reacting like that. It is normal in our country. At least, I am proud of my elder sister that she has not married any other man, after losing her husband last year. A second marriage could have ruined the life of her 5 year old little son. There is nothing wrong in it, if she satisfies her sexual desires with me.

Arindam:- Yeah, I can understand, how much difficult it is to suppress your sexual desires. Do you people use anal toys or vibrating machines?

Lindsay:- Umm...yeah, we use it...Why? In your India, women do not use toys?

Arindam:- No, here, young ladies buys carrots, brinjals and cucumbers of suitable sizes and enjoy with those vegetables in their wash-rooms.

Lindsay:- My goodness, how do you know all these things?

Arindam:- Well, if you were a naughty boy in your schooldays, where you used to peep through the holes and ventilators of ladies' bathrooms, then surely, you will get to know all the basic instincts of a woman. I got caught once by one of my aunties residing in our locality and she twisted my ears while scolding me. Later on, that aunty became my special friend. After all; as a human being, how can she ignore her sexual desires? Hey, Lindsay, don't you have any boyfriend?

Lindsay:- It is a silly question, Arindam. As a lesbian, how can I have a boyfriend. But, yeah, I like one boy in our college, whose name is Tom. The problem is that he is a gay. He has a boyfriend.

Arindam:- I don't understand one thing that in your country, why always the theories of "Adam - Eve" and "Kamasutra" gets violated. Maybe, I think that too much sweetness is making the taste bitter. You people do too much of sex, that is why, you people lose interest and excitement in it.

Lindsay:- Maybe, to some extent, it is true. But, can't help it; we just love to enjoy our life. In our country, you cannot suppress your desires. Just fulfill and finish it. Recently, Tom is having some problem with his boyfriend and I have got the information that he is making friendship with some beautiful girls of our college. So, I don't want to miss out this opportunity. Anyway, dear, I need to attend a party. So, I need to go. I am going to sign out from Facebook Chat after 1 minute. Take care, dear.

Arindam:- So, Lindsay, it is like coming back to square one. After hearing your case, I can say that "A LESBIAN IS IN LOVE WITH A GAY"; which proves that you cannot ignore the theory of "Adam - Eve", because God also knows that a man and a woman are complimentary to each other. Take care, dear. Enjoy the party. Good Night.

KOLKATAN KAILASH

Kailash: - Kaa Kaa Kaaa, hello “Shaili”, I am here at this tree. Can you see me?

Shaili: - Oh! You are there, the naughty crow. Please come down, we want to have a chat with you.

Kailash: - wow!, it’s my pleasure. So, you are conducting the program “NDTV Animal Interview” right?

Shaili: - Yes, you are right. So, do you like the city of Kolkata?

Kailash: - Of Course, why not, after all it is the “City Of Joy”.

Shaili: - Oh! I see.

Kailash: - Ya, I know, what you are trying to say, you are saying about the garbage in the streets and the pollution right?

Shaili: - Yes, despite having a strong municipal corporation, why the city is not so clean, in respect to other cities.

Kailash: - That is why, we are there naah… We work as a natural sweeper here, eating away all the garbage. You will be glad to know, that Kolkata is the city, where you will find the largest population of crows. Kaa Kaa Kaaa… every morning, we start shouting to let people know, that it is morning now.

Shaili: - You are skipping my question. Why there is no response from the municipal corporation?

Kailash: - First of all, the Mayor is always the laziest person, no matter whether he/she is from CPI-M or Trinamool Congress. All are the cows of the same Gosala only. They will not pay enough salary to the workers; neither will they order them to clean all the roads and garbage at least once a week. It has sometimes happened that public has to request to the municipal corporation to send people for cleaning up the garbage in their locality.

Shaili: - Really, is it the scenario?

Kailash: - Yes, of course, despite paying the taxes, if you get this type of humiliation, then it is a shameful thing. At least, we try our level best to clear he garbage. The CM should be grateful to us, in this regard. At least, in south Indian cities, Municipal Corporation works more efficiently than this Kolkata.

Shaili: - Is that the message, you wanted to share only, or you have anything more.

Kailash: - Dear viewers, if you have never seen a crow, in your life time, then just visit our Kolkata, we are there to entertain you.

Shaili: - You people shits too much.

Kailash: - Baah! , we will eat so much garbage, and then we cannot give it out, my goodness. Let the Municipal Corporation cleans up our shits. At least, give them some work to do. Ha ha ha…

Shaili: - Ok, nice talking to you, we will end our program.

Kailash: - Ok, Shaili, Thanks for coming to Kolkata… Kabhi Alvida Na Kahena… phir Kolkata aate rahana… Namaskaar…

Shaili: - Ok, viewers, we are signing off. Take Care, Bye.

INDIAN ENGLISH

“You people are good for nothing, your parents are spending so much money on you people in a reputed English medium school of Kolkata, i.e. Julien Day School, but still you people have failed in English Grammar. Chee chee cheee… at class VI, you don’t know the difference between active and passive sentence... Shame on you people. How many times, I have to tell you people to learn Wren & Martin.” shouted “Mrs. Bhowmick”, the best English teacher of the school, to us, as we have failed in English Grammar at the Half Yearly Exam.

“Atreyee” got only 26 out of 100 in English Grammar Examination. She was so bombarded by her English teacher and parents that, she got frustrated. “Arindam” understood everything and told her, “Don’t worry, at least you know better English than our PT teacher “Parimal”.”

One day, “Parimal” came with a packet of sweets, and went straight into the Principal’s house and told her, “Madam, today is the happiest day of my life. In the 2nd attempt, my one and only daughter have passed away. So, for this happy moment, take this sweet”. The principal “Mrs. Broughton” was just stunned to hear this and came out of the room and told the Bengali teacher “Mr. Naskar”, that “Parimal” has gone mad. The PT teacher is celebrating the death of his daughter. “Naskar” asked “Parimal” in Bengali and got the answer and confirmed the Principal that “Parimal’s” daughter has passed the “Madhyamik Secondary Exam” in her 2nd attempt.

In another instant, oh my god, one day our Geography teacher “Mr. Elizabeth Chackoo” was absent. So, in her absence, “Parimal” came to take the class, so that we don’t shout like hooligans. As it was a hot season of Kolkata, so we were feeling very hot. Seeing the situation, “Parimal” ordered us, “Please open the window panes, and let the atmosphere come in”. Someone asked, “Which layer of atmosphere will come in, Sir?”

But, we will never forget the “Inter-Branch Football” scam in our Kolkata branch. Actually, in our “Juilen Day School”, there were three branches: - Kalyani, Ganganagar and Kolkata. Out of these three, Ganganagar boys were the best in football. We entered into the final, and went to play in Ganganagar by bus. But, our school was like a college full of hooligans, including me. But, I was not fond of all those Ghutkas or “Gopal” zardas.The bus was going towards “Ganganagar” and some of our football players spitted on a local cyclist, going through that road. Then, the local people stopped the bus, and the football match was cancelled, as we were not allowed to enter the field, by the local people of Ganganagar. “Ganganagar” won the football final match, without even touching the football. What a shame it was for us.

All the students who were in the “Kolkata” football team were suspended for 1 week. But, “Mrs. Broughton” wanted to know in details what actually happened there in Ganganagar. She requested “Parimal” to come on the stage and explain it. “Parimal” started explaining the entire scenario.

Parimal: - Actually, the problem is, the cycle going, the bus going, the bus going, the cycle going, in parallel mode on the road. The school boys spit, the cyclist got red color on the shirt. The man got angry and stopped the bus and came and beat the boys. They boys also revenged, pounced on man. The locals angry, cancelled the match. This is the whole story.

The Principal started laughing and told all of them to go to hell with their bloody English.Mrs. Bhowmick was standing there at the auditorium watching our “tamasha”. I told her, “Madam, this is known as “Indian English”, he he he, if “Parimal” would have been our English teacher, then we have all got at least 90 out of 100.The madam laughed heartily and told, “Really, after hearing this “Indian English”,I am tending to forget the rules of Wren & Martin”.

CRIMINAL CROCODILE

Chandan: - Uff ho, “Shaili Chopra”, why have you come here to take my interview?

Shaili: - Wow!, how do you know me?

Chandan: - How can we ignore the anchor of the program “NDTV Animal Interview”, and as I am the “Criminal Crocodile”of Uttar Pradesh.

Shaili: - Wait a minute, why do you term yourself as a criminal?

Chandan: - See, in my childhood days, I was at the rivers of “Sundarban” delta, but there I never used to kill human beings. Yes, once I severely injured a Royal Bengal Tiger, when it came to drink water in the river. He he he, that was an awesome fight, I still remember that day.

Shaili: - But how did you came here in Uttar Pradesh?

Chandan: - The Alipore Zoo officials of Kolkata caught me and kept me there at the zoo.

Shaili: - Hmm, so, you were so naughty in the Sundarbans, that forest department transferred you to the animal jail, which is known as “Alipore Zoo”. Ha ha ha …

Chandan: - But, I was very happy in that zoo. No work, no tension, only eat and sleep, and I just enjoyed those little children shouting, “O maa, dekho dekho, ki baro kumir, babah… ota ki bechey achey na morey gachey”.

Shaili:- So, after that, “Surya Pratap”, the minister of Uttar Pradesh, kept you here in this talab (i.e. the pond). But, why you said that, you are a criminal?

Chandan: - Because, enemies of “Surya Pratap” is killed by me only. They will keep me hungry, the whole day, without providing me any food. Then, they will throw the person, in this talab, to be killed by me.

Shaili: - So, why did you kill them? You could have ignored them.

Chandan: - If I don’t eat that person, I will die, because “Surya Pratap’s” men will not provide me any other food. And as a second option, if I do not eat that person also, despite being hungry, then “Surya Pratap” will kill me with his rifle. Last week, only, he killed my friend “Luma”, another crocodile of this talab.

Shaili: - Oh! My God, Surya Pratap is such a dangerous person. He has really made you a “Criminal Crocodile”.

Chandan: - I have no other options. I have to do my duty for my master. Anyway, please don’t publish these things in the media; otherwise, “Surya Pratap” will be in trouble, and Uttar Pradesh CM will kill him, as the election is coming, and a small scandal can help the opposition party to come to power in the election of 2009.

Shaili: - Ok, babah, you please take care of yourself, let me get out of this territory. It is a very dangerous area. Nice to meet you “Chandan”, Good Bye.

Chandan: - Good Bye Shaili!, Take Care and Thanks for coming here and interviewing me. Thanks to NDTV also.

Shaili: - Thanks Chandan. You may be a criminal, but you also have a good heart too.

Chandan: - Maybe, I was a human being in my previous birth, that is why, I become emotional sometimes.

Shaili: - Maybe, that I don’t know. Well viewers, here we are ending our show. Bye bye.

ARINDAM BECAME CM OF BENGAL IN HIS DREAM

Tanvir: - Hello viewers. I am Tanvir Gill of ET NOW and today in this special ‘ET Interview’ program, we have with us, the newly elected CM of West Bengal, Mr. Arindam. Sir, congrats to you for becoming the CM of West Bengal. Last year, you came out of the BJP and then formed your own political party ‘Royal Bengal Tigers Party’ (RBTP). So, what is your future development plan or strategies for this state?

Arindam: - Thanks to you Tanvir, for inviting me in your show. But, don’t call me Sir. You can call me Arindam only. Now, coming back to your question, well, there are lots of things to be done. First of all, we want to tighten our security in the Bangladesh border areas. We want to stop the infiltration of Bangladeshis through the Bongaon, Sundarban, Malda, Murshidabad and Silguri. Police forces will be re-structured. All policemen need to pass a special fitness test for two times, every year. If any policeman fails to pass the fitness test for consecutive three times, his or her job will be terminated. We are going to introduce new arms and ammunitions for the Police force. Special Intelligence Squad will also be formed. NCC Training will be made a compulsory course for all school students. We will also have a detailed discussion with the Naxalites to solve their problems. We are planning to create a domestic market for handicrafts, jute products and forest medicinal herbs. All plastics will be banned. Instead of that, thin polybags made of jute will be used.

Tanvir: - Ok, but, what about the Industrial Development?

Arindam: - Oh! There are many barren lands in the Rajarhat region, where no agriculture takes place. There we will create an IT park, where companies like Infosys, Wipro, Accenture, Covansys, Deloitte, Microsoft and Oracle will be allotted the plots. Not only have that, we will re-open all the factories of manufacturing sectors of Howrah-Hoogly belt as well as of Garden Reach – Khidderpore area. The ‘CITU’ will be banned. We don’t want any existence of unions in any factories. That has ruined the profitability of manufacturing factories for last 30 years. Employees for all the factories will be recruited without any partiality. From now on, there will be no caste system or minority quota for employment purpose. All will be treated in an equal manner and will be given the equal opportunity. L& T will be given a notice to complete the Hydel Power project of Teesta River within 1 year. That hydel power project is more than enough to supply electricity to the entire northern Bengal. Not only have that, we are going to modernize the Haldia port, with some artificial machineries and the silting problem will be solved. In Bakkhali, Frazergunj and Shankarpur, there will be new Shipping ports. Near Durgapur, we are planning to have a new airport. New fisheries and wind power station will be opened up in Sagar Dweep. Solar Energy projects will come up in the districts of Purulia, Bankura and Birbhum, where the climate is too hot.

Tanvir: - What about the transport system as well as the Tourism Department? Also, are there any special initiatives for the Health Department and Education System?

Arindam: - Hmm, for education system, we will follow the Central Board only. There will be no separate West Bengal Board for that. English will be taught from class 1 only. From class V, third language like Hindi will be taught. In class VIII, a student can learn a foreign language, either French or German. But, that will be optional. Number of colleges will be increased. For Health Department, we are going for a Public-Private Partnership, to improve the overall infrastructure of hospitals as well as to recruit doctors with good pay scales. Regarding Transport system, we have already banned old vehicles. All the government buses and vehicles of Silpara Garage have been repaired and modernized. All those buses will be implemented on the roads very soon. For tourism, Darjeeling, Digha, Jaldapara and Sundarban will become one of best tourist spots of India.

***********************

Dibakar: - Ei, Sain; wake up. Already it is 6.30 AM now. Your clock alarm rang for 5 times, but still you are sleeping. Have you forgotten that, today is your SBI Exam. Be ready soon, otherwise, you will be late.

Arindam: - Oh! I am sorry. Actually, I was having a very interesting dream. In my dream, I was working as a CM of Bengal like Anil Kapoor did for Maharashtra state in the film ‘NAYAK’.
Sandipan: - Ha ha ha…hey, listen everybody. It’s breaking news. “ARINDAM BECAME CM OF BENGAL IN HIS DREAM”, he he he…, it was a real funny dream for you. Anyway, Best of Luck for the SBI Exam.

BARMUDA TRIANGLE

Harsha: - Hello Viewers, I am “Harsha Bhogle”, starting the program “World Prime Time”. Today, we have the famous “Yamraaj”. Hello Sir, we want to know about the “Barmuda Triangle”, that you have created.

Yamraaj: - Wow!, that was my dream project, to create a deadly triangle like that.

Harsha: - Sorry, I can’t get you, Sir.

Yamraaj: - Ok, let me call Lord “Brahma” on his mobile. Hello “Brahmaji”, today, “Harsha” is here to know about my dream project “Barmuda Triangle”. Should I disclose all the details?

Brahma: - Uff, this Harsha always have questions. Ok, tell him, only the overview or synopsis of the project report that you have submitted to us.

Yamraaj: - Ok, Brahmaji, thanks a lot.

Harsha: - Who assigned you this project and why?

Yamraaj: - See, actually there was a need to create this kind of deadly zone at the center of the earth, otherwise these Americans and Europeans would have reached the centre of the earth, and have destructed that also. Remember one thing; if there is any minute change in the centre of the earth, then the tectonic plates will be in great dilemma. Then, the entire world will look like an Earthquake zone.

Harsha: - but Sir, till now, no one has found out the center of the earth.

Yamraaj: - How can they find it, because we have installed a special firewall, in front of the center of the earth. Earlier we used some mechanism to throw the people away from the center of the earth. But, that did not work, the people were all alive and they always tried to break that firewall.

Harsha: - Then, what happened?

Yamraaj: - As per the instruction from “Lord Shiva”, we decided to kill the people, who will try to enter the center of the Earth. We installed a strong magnet, which looks like a Triangle and it covers an area, which resembled a Barmuda. So, it was later known as “Barmuda Triangle”. Whoever came near to this triangle, we provided them free membership of “Heaven” or “Hell”, whichever is applicable.

Harsha: - But, that is not fair. You are killing lots of people.

Yamraaj: - No, babah, they are not so innocent, they are deadly researchers and scientists. They know that, if they can have full control of the centre of the earth, then they will have control on the weather and global temperature of the earth. So, they will fine tune that, according to their needs. Here in this area, we have around 1500 large magnetic plates floating. It looks funny, but, if any plates get diverted from their position, then maybe you will find the world with small pieces of islands here and there. There will be no continents. But, if you can once get control of these plates, I can assure you that, it will produce both massive nuclear and thermal energy which is more than enough to produce the No.1 nuclear reactor in the whole universe. That is the main concern for us. Due to radioactivity, this triangle is losing lots of alpha, beta and gamma rays. So, there may be a chance that, after 100 years, this Barmuda Triangle will get weaker. Then at that juncture, we will not be able to tame these deadly scientists.

Harsha: - Wow, really we are grateful to you for sharing that information. See you later again. Good Bye.

CRAB OF GOA

Shaili: - Hello viewers, this is “Shaili Chopra” starting the program “NDTV Animal Interview”. Today, I am in one of the reputed Goa beaches. Here, I am going to interview “Peter”, the Crab of Goa.Good Morning “Peter”.

Peter: - Good morning Shaili. So, at last you are in Goa, to take my interview.

Shaili: - Why are you saying like that? This is the first time, I am in Goa and I am enjoying it.

Peter: - Everyone comes to enjoy here, but better be careful of any wrong persons.

Shaili: - Why, what happened?

Peter:- Oh, Shaili, you don’t know, this is the beach, where many foreign girls have been murdered already, after losing their so called “Ijjat”, to those anti-socials of Goa.

Shaili: - How can you say that? Have you seen all those things?

Peter: - Yes, my dear. I see theft, murder, drug-addiction, smuggling, here in this beach every week. This is a paradise for “Khullam-Kulla” anti-social activities.

Shaili: - But who was murdered here?

Peter: - Oh! God, you know nothing at all. Here at least 3 foreign girls have been murdered brutally.

Shaili: - But, what happened to those criminals? Were they punished?

Peter: - How can they be punished, boss. They are very close to politicians and smugglers.

Shaili: - But, I have heard that, the foreigners come here to enjoy the special drugs.

Peter: - Yes, you are absolutely right, can you see that corner in this beach, there they take drugs every evening and enjoy. Please be careful, while you walk on those beaches bare-footed. Because, sometimes the needle of the syringes can get pinched in your feet, and may cause AIDS, as those syringes are used by them for taking drugs.

Shaili: - So, automatically, these issues are affecting the tourism department of Goa.

Peter: - Not at all, earlier, had good and honest people used to travel here. Now big big Dons are visiting here with their family to spend holidays. After Dubai, Mauritius and Singapore, it is the Goa, which has become the holiday hunting place for the Dons. So, ultimately, who is in profit, the Goa Tourism Department?

Shaili: - So, do you have any solution to that?

Peter: - Actually the Goan culture is so liberal that, they don’t care if anyone is brutally killed or if anyone is drug-addicted. They just want to enjoy their life. They don’t care also, if they die after 1 minute, but the life has to be full of fun.

Shaili: - Peter, what is your ultimate last message for the tourists of Goa?

Peter: - My dear tourists, before coming to Goa, please book the hotel, which is safe as per the historical records. Do not indulge in any kind of drug or alcoholic session with any unknown person in Goa, and then there is a 95% chance that you will be robbed. Please be careful while drinking the local drink “Feni”. It is very strong for you.

FOOTBALL IN THE MOON

Harsha: - Hello viewers. I am “Harsha Bhogle” starting the program “World Prime Time”. Today, we have with us, the Chairman of “Space Football Association” (SFA), the famous Lord “Brahma”. Good Morning Sir.

Brahma: - Good Morning Harsha. Tell me, what do you want to know?

Harsha: - Sir, we have got the information that like “FIFA” in the planet Earth, the space people have also formed a football association “SFA”. So, when are we going to view a football match in the Space?

Brahma: - Yes, you are right. We are very excited about that. Already, we have formed a committee consisting of board members from “God” Team, “Asura” Team and the “Alien” Team.

Harsha: - Where is the venue of football matches?

Brahma: - Oh! You are not aware of the fact that, we have already created three football stadiums in the moon. It was so difficult to construct stadiums here. At last, they got completed.

Harsha: - but Sir, the football will fly out of the stadium, if someone kicks it hard.

Brahma: - No my dear, actually the football is made of iron, and the superpower magnets are installed in the outer part of the stadium, with a censor. Whenever the magnets will sense the iron football, it will attract it, and automatically it will throw the football into the stadium.

Harsha: - Ha Ha Ha, but the players will fly and hop, Sir, with oxygen mask.

Brahma: - No No, our jerseys will be made of Iron or Steel, with a helmet, with the oxygen mask.

Harsha: - Who will be the referee?

Brahma: - Well, we have selected all intelligent people for these posts, as they can find out easily, if there is any foul. For Example: - Lord “Narayana”, Lord “Ganesha”, Narad Muni etc. etc.

Harsha: - Can you name some of the players of your “God” Team?

Brahma: - Oh!, in the “God” Team, the captain is Lord “Shiva” as he can play football in a dancing mood, by taking his favorite “Gaanja”. The Goal Keeper is Lord “Krishna”. No one will dare to kick the football, due to his “Chakra” in the hand. The defender will be Lord “Indra”, as he is famous for giving some lightning effect. In the “Asura” Team, the captain is “Ravana”, with 10 heads. He can anytime give a goal, like “Zinedine Zidane”, as he has so many heads. “Kumbhakarna” is the defender and “Mahishasura” is the Goal Keeper. For the “Alien” Team, I am yet to get the Team list from the “Satanic” Planet. They are the real challenging team for us. As they play less football and more rugby.

Harsha: - Is there any “RED CARD” system here?

Brahma: - Yes, we have, but it is valid for only 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, again that “RED Carded” player can play the game. But, if that player gets 5 “RED CARDS“in a match, then he will be suspended from “SFA” for 1 month.

Harsha: - Ok, Sir, we will surely look for the “LIVE “coverage. When will the competition start?

Brahma: - It will officially start from 2011. Till then, Good Bye, Harsha.